think about things long enough, if I try and remember the way things happened and not the way I might wish they'd happened, then—who knows? Maybe I might really be able to think my way to something that's on the other side of all this mess. I don't know.
Carlos finally took his first bite of pizza, which by that time was bone cold. He folded the wedge in two before eating it, and I noticed how his fingernails were cut smooth down to the quick. While he ate, I told him about the part-time job I'd had for a while loading flats at the lumberyard till it closed down and I hadn't found anything else since then, and how I was going to drop out of school and as soon as I was eighteen I wanted to apply for a job as a penitentiary guard since they made good money.
All of a sudden, in between bites, he looked up at me, right in the eye, and said, "I bet you're a big hit with the girls around here. I bet you've got fifteen girlfriends."
It kind of rook me by surprise. "Don't I wish," I told him. "It's emptier than the moon around here, girlwise."
"Tell me about it," he said. He wasn't eating anymore, just looking at me.
I tried to rhmk oi something interesting to tell. "Well, 1 used to go om with this girl," I said. "It's sort ol amusing, I guess. There was this guy Wallace, he worked .it the lumberyard too in fact, he was
llOU I got the job there-, lie w;is older th;in me h\ 1 guetS about five Anyway, we used tO gO 0U( With these tWO ^irls. What happened
ters, and Wallace wanted to go out with the younger •nK her mother wouldn't let her go out unless her older sister was
Wallace got around that was, he let me up
with tin- lister, who was about three years older than me, and Wallace
• .nit with the ''tie- who Was my age. We'd go OUt "n these son nt
doubl
BOYSOFLIFE D
"Yeah. There wasn't much to it. Those ^irls weren't really into much."
It felt good and drowsy to be lounging around in the back of that van, with the rain still coming down steady and it getting dark outside. It was our last beer.
"Like what?" Carlos asked.
"Nothing much."
"Surely they were into something?"
"Oh, kissing," I said.
"Yeah?"
I had to laugh. "A little hand action," I said.
Carlos just kept studying me. He had thin dry parched-looking lips. "Tell me more," he told me.
"There's not really anything to tell," I said.
"Oh, there's always something to tell," he said.
He made me laugh, he was so curious. He had this way of sucking in his cheeks that made him look even thinner than he was.
"Well," I told him, "if you have to know."
"I don't have to know," he said. "But I'd like to—I'm new around here."
"Yeah, well. We'd park somewhere and Wallace and his girl were in the front seat and me and the sister in the back, and we'd all be necking around. You know—the windows getting all steamed up and it was almost like those two girls'd gone and rehearsed everything in advance."
"What do you mean?" Carlos wasn't going to let me out o( this story once I was into it.
"Well," I said, "they'd both say almost at the exact same time, like they clocked it—okay, that's enough, you got to take us home now."
"That's a drag," Carlos said. "So did you take them home like they wanted?"
I'd totally forgotten those girls, but now I was hating them all over again. "So what else were we supposed to do?" I said. "It wis s ( > frustrating. Jeez was it frustrating."
Carlos stopped chewing on his pizza. "Did you ever come when you were with them?" he asked me, looking at me with this look rhat made something turn over inside me.
I laughed—nobody had ever asked me anything like rhar before.
"Well, did you?" Carlos asked me a^ain. 1 got the feeling he
□ PAULRUSSELL
thought this was funny—which I guess it was, me and Wallace trying all the time and never getting to home base with those girls.
"Nah," I told him. "They'd always cut out way before that."
Hearing that must've relaxed him. He took another bite of pizza and chewed it up. "That must
Carlos finally took his first bite of pizza, which by that time was bone cold. He folded the wedge in two before eating it, and I noticed how his fingernails were cut smooth down to the quick. While he ate, I told him about the part-time job I'd had for a while loading flats at the lumberyard till it closed down and I hadn't found anything else since then, and how I was going to drop out of school and as soon as I was eighteen I wanted to apply for a job as a penitentiary guard since they made good money.
All of a sudden, in between bites, he looked up at me, right in the eye, and said, "I bet you're a big hit with the girls around here. I bet you've got fifteen girlfriends."
It kind of rook me by surprise. "Don't I wish," I told him. "It's emptier than the moon around here, girlwise."
"Tell me about it," he said. He wasn't eating anymore, just looking at me.
I tried to rhmk oi something interesting to tell. "Well, 1 used to go om with this girl," I said. "It's sort ol amusing, I guess. There was this guy Wallace, he worked .it the lumberyard too in fact, he was
llOU I got the job there-, lie w;is older th;in me h\ 1 guetS about five Anyway, we used tO gO 0U( With these tWO ^irls. What happened
ters, and Wallace wanted to go out with the younger •nK her mother wouldn't let her go out unless her older sister was
Wallace got around that was, he let me up
with tin- lister, who was about three years older than me, and Wallace
• .nit with the ''tie- who Was my age. We'd go OUt "n these son nt
doubl
BOYSOFLIFE D
"Yeah. There wasn't much to it. Those ^irls weren't really into much."
It felt good and drowsy to be lounging around in the back of that van, with the rain still coming down steady and it getting dark outside. It was our last beer.
"Like what?" Carlos asked.
"Nothing much."
"Surely they were into something?"
"Oh, kissing," I said.
"Yeah?"
I had to laugh. "A little hand action," I said.
Carlos just kept studying me. He had thin dry parched-looking lips. "Tell me more," he told me.
"There's not really anything to tell," I said.
"Oh, there's always something to tell," he said.
He made me laugh, he was so curious. He had this way of sucking in his cheeks that made him look even thinner than he was.
"Well," I told him, "if you have to know."
"I don't have to know," he said. "But I'd like to—I'm new around here."
"Yeah, well. We'd park somewhere and Wallace and his girl were in the front seat and me and the sister in the back, and we'd all be necking around. You know—the windows getting all steamed up and it was almost like those two girls'd gone and rehearsed everything in advance."
"What do you mean?" Carlos wasn't going to let me out o( this story once I was into it.
"Well," I said, "they'd both say almost at the exact same time, like they clocked it—okay, that's enough, you got to take us home now."
"That's a drag," Carlos said. "So did you take them home like they wanted?"
I'd totally forgotten those girls, but now I was hating them all over again. "So what else were we supposed to do?" I said. "It wis s ( > frustrating. Jeez was it frustrating."
Carlos stopped chewing on his pizza. "Did you ever come when you were with them?" he asked me, looking at me with this look rhat made something turn over inside me.
I laughed—nobody had ever asked me anything like rhar before.
"Well, did you?" Carlos asked me a^ain. 1 got the feeling he
□ PAULRUSSELL
thought this was funny—which I guess it was, me and Wallace trying all the time and never getting to home base with those girls.
"Nah," I told him. "They'd always cut out way before that."
Hearing that must've relaxed him. He took another bite of pizza and chewed it up. "That must
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