Blown Away Read Free Page B

I’ve known him since the day he was born. My son would want to live.”
    I walked into the room, unable to passively listen anymore.
    “Thanks,” Drew said when I handed her the coffee. Her drawn expression brought back my feelings of helplessness.
    “Colby always rode next to me in my truck on storm-chasing trips,” I said, walking over to the window and leaning against the counter there. “Just me and him. I drove and he did the computer and phone work. A lot of storm chasing is driving or sitting, waiting to see if a storm develops like we think it will.”
    Carla and Drew both looked at me, their eyes imploring me to continue. To talk about something—anything—that would take their minds off why we were in this room right now.
    “Last summer we had a long talk about life and death.” I stopped and sipped my coffee, remembering the conversation we’d had while parked on a dirt road next to a cornfield. “We both said we wouldn’t want to be kept alive by machines if it came to that. If we’d never be ourselves again.”
    Carla shook her head and narrowed her eyes at me. “How convenient. You overheard us talking, and you happen to know he’d want to die right now.”
    “He’s already gone, Carla.” I cleared my throat before continuing. “I wish like hell he wasn’t. And if you think I’d make up something like that, you don’t know me as well as I thought you did.”
    She stared at her shoes silently.
    “He said he wanted to be cremated,” I said, looking down at the cars and pedestrians on the street. “Said he’d want his ashes scattered on a lake in Wisconsin. I can’t remember the name of it.”
    Carla let out a sob and covered her mouth with her hand. After a minute she looked over at me, wrapping her arms around herself.
    “Castle Rock Lake. We took family vacations there when he was young.”
    “From the look on his face when he talked about that place, those times meant a lot to him,” I said.
    “To me, too.” She wiped tears from her cheeks and sighed deeply.
    “It doesn’t have to be right now,” I said. “Spend today talking to him and…saying goodbye.”
    My voice was hoarse with emotion and the lump in my throat was tight. This was so fucking hard, but I had to do it. The last thing I could do for Colby was be here for his mom and Drew.
    Carla nodded and Drew went to her, wrapping her in a tight embrace. I left the room then, turning in the opposite direction of the waiting room. I went to a stairwell and climbed all the way up and then all the way back down. Up again, and down again. The exertion helped release the pent-up, stifling sense of helplessness.
    I was sweating and breathing hard when I stopped after about thirty minutes. I sat down on the landing, gathering the strength to go back to the room.
    He’d had everything in front of him. A life and a family with an amazing wife. Decades of teaching and coaching. Lazy afternoons drinking beer with me on the front porch of the cabin I was building.
    But fate had yanked the carpet out from underneath him in a cruel way. Out from all of us, really. Colby had been that rare friend who truly understood me. For thirteen years, he’d been one of very few people I could always count on.
    I stood up and walked to the stairwell door, wondering how it was possible to find the words to say goodbye forever to a man like that.
    —
    The end was surprisingly peaceful. After a day of everyone saying goodbye and all of us remembering him with stories, Carla gave approval for life support to be stopped in the evening.
    She and Drew each held one of his hands, and I stood with my arm around Carla. Drew’s sister, Ashley, was there holding her other hand.
    Once the machines were stopped, he slipped away fast. Carla shook and wept, which cut through me like a knife. Drew’s stoic, heartbroken expression hurt just as much. She had to be completely gutted, but she stayed strong. After the doctor pronounced Colby’s time of death,