Bless this Mouse Read Free Page A

going to be electrocuted someday," another mouse called from his high perch on a shelf where
The Lives of the Philosophers
were stored.
    "I knew there was a meeting going on but I thought AA was all men," Norma explained. "I thought the ladies' room was safe."
    "Oh my, no," Hildegarde said. "Half women. Including the church secretary."

    "So I was wrong, obviously. And there I was, in the middle of the room, when a woman came in. I scampered away, but I know she saw me. I'm sorry. Is it a disaster? Will it bring on the Great X?" Norma wrung her tiny paws nervously.
    A low, frightened murmur made its way around the room.
    "Not by itself. But hear me out," said Hildegarde. "The next day, Friday—that would be yesterday—I was in the sacristy, about to take my afternoon nap—"
    "She always naps in the sacristy," Roderick interrupted loudly, hoping that all the mice would notice what a close and special relationship he had with Hildegarde. She glared at him. He looked the other way and fell silent.
    She continued, "—when I overheard the sexton talking to that woman who heads up the Altar Guild. The woman with the ugly hat?"
    The church mice nodded their heads and murmured. They all knew the hat. "She's the one who says 'Eek,'" someone said, and they all giggled.

    "Well," Hildegarde went on, "the sexton was teasing her a little, I think. He told her to watch out if she took that hat off and set it down, because it looked like a good nest for mice, and he'd seen a mouse—"
    "It
would
be a great nest!" squeaked a youngster who'd been perched on the arm of the deep red sofa. "If she ever puts it in the rummage bin, we should grab it!"
    Hildegarde glared again. She hated interruptions. When they were silent, she continued. "He told her he'd seen a mouse that morning in the kitchen, under the sink."
    "Oh dear, oh dear. That was me." A large male mouse stood up on his back legs, raised one front paw, and continued his confession. "I came up beside the water pipe. I was going to grab part of an SOS pad and take it back to my nest. I like a little firmness to my bed. But just as I got there, someone opened the cabinet door and reached in for a sponge. So I took off. I didn't realize he'd seen me.
    "I'm so, so sorry. Does it mean the Great X? Please, no!"
    "Shhh. Let me finish. I heard the sexton describe that sighting to the Bad Hat Lady, and he said, 'We seem to have a mousie in the church. Someone saw it last night in the ladies' room.'"
    "A
mousie?
" Dozens of them repeated the word, tittering.
    "Shhh!" Hildegarde admonished them sternly. "Finally, last night, as he was leaving for the rectory, Father Murphy said to the sexton, 'That mouse really gets around. I saw him scoot across the hall when I went to the men's room!'"
    "Him?
Him?
" Millicent sounded outraged. "Does that man not recognize a nursing mother when he sees one? I was hurrying home to the mouselets. All right, I shouldn't have crossed the hall in broad daylight, I know that—"

    "
Hush,
" Hildegarde said. "I am simply pointing out a very fortunate thing. Three different people— the AA lady, the sexton, and Father Murphy—saw three different mice—"
    "Me," the three guilty mice said in guilty unison.
    "—but they all think they saw the same mouse! They think Saint Bartholemew's has
one mouse!
"
    "Instead of
hundreds!
" Roderick called out gleefully. Around the room, from their various perches on shelves and sofas and table, two hundred and eighteen (one had not attended; he was old, and sleeping) church mice applauded with their little paws. Mouse paws are softly padded, so applause is a muted, muffled sound. But the congratulatory clapping together of several hundred paws does make a distinctive noise. Hildegarde allowed them their moment of jubilation before she called for quiet.
    From the corner of Father Murphy's office, a tall clock chimed four. It was still dark, pre-dawn. Roderick yawned.
    "I'll let you go now," Hildegarde