Bleed Read Free Page A

doll-blond tresses like Kelly.
    “It does get pretty hot.”
    I pull up on my shirt to expose my tan belly, the way Kelly did once at this college rush party she made us crash, so she could nab a guy from Zeta House—like Zeta House even means anything when you’re a sophomore in high school.
    “Get out!” Sean says. “You have a navel ring. Kelly never told me that.”
    I thread the silver loop, pierced into my navel, with my pinkie finger and smile with pressed lips, the way I did in my sophomore class portrait, when everyone told me I looked so sweet. I got the navel ring with Kelly. She dared me, saying I was way too pure to actually go through with it. “I bet there’s a lot Kelly hasn’t told you about me.”
    “Oh, yeah? Like what?”
    I stare at him a few seconds, considering the situation and what I should do. Maybe I’m doing Kelly a favor. Maybe she wants to break things off with him. Maybe if she really cared anything about him, she wouldn’t have left him for a whole summer, wouldn’t have run three thousand miles away from him.
    “For example,” I say, not able to hide my lip in the smile, “did she tell you I have an inground swimming pool?”
    He shakes his head and wipes the sweat from his forehead with a dry patch of T-shirt. Lifting his shirt up this way, I’m able to see the tiny golden hairs that make a woven stripe right below his navel.
    “Well I do,” I say. “It’s in the shape of a giant curly S.” I tug the strap of my bathing suit out from my shirt and allow it to snap back into place. Ouch! “That’s where I’m going right now.” I pick his water bottle up from the stairs and place its coolness on my cheeks, forehead, and also at my neck, the way they do it in sexy cola commercials. Then I take a sip. “Feel like taking a dunk?”
    I almost catch a glimpse of a quivering lip, but he bites it just in time. “I really need to finish up my work,” he says. “Maybe another time.”
    “Sure.” I hand him back the water bottle, and the squeeze of my grip causes water to shoot out of the straw. So smooth. “Sorry,” I say.
    “Don’t worry about it.” He wipes the squirt from his face. “Just water.”
    “I guess I’ll see you around.” As I walk away I can feel the heat of his stare press against the back of my thighs, the tanned small of my back where my shorts meet my top, and my hips as they sway from side to side, catwalk style. Before taking a turn into my backyard, I stop to glance back at him, just to check if he’s still there, watching.
    He is.
    I walk around the edge of the pool and dip a foot in to test the temperature. The water sparkles up at me, the surface flashing like tiny white Christmas lights. I peel the sweat-dampened clothes from my bubble gum-pink tankini bathing suit, the top of which is supposed to help create the illusion of bigger boobs. I toss the clothes to the side and imagine Sean’s expression as they fall to his feet.
    But when I look back, I’m alone.
    I position myself on the diving board and aim my body toward the center like a dart. Not too much splash—the right amount—a sound that would make any neighbor jealous. I swim underwater toward the deep end, telling myself that by the time I reach the end, Sean will be there, waiting for me.
    He isn’t.
    I paddle around on the raft for almost an hour, allowing my arms and the back of my neck to crisp and redden from the sun. Staring down at my reflection wavering back and forth in the water, I can make out my frizzy hair (wet or not), my pudgy upper lip, and through it all I can see the maze of dirt at the bottom of the pool from my filthy bare feet. I’ll have to vacuum before my mother gets home and sees.
    I rest my head on the raft, and my bangs block the sun from my eyes. I feel stupid and embarrassed. Who am I to invite Sean O’Connell to join me in the pool? I’m not anybody. Not Kelly with her good looks. Not Maria with her nerves of steel.
    I remember this one time