Bipolar Expeditions Read Free Page A

implored me to see a psychiatrist, saying, “If willpower alone could have cured you, you would’ve been cured years ago.” I had to get to the point where I lost my career, my friends, and almost my life before I finally saw a pdoc [psychiatrist]. I am so glad I did now. I no longer see myself as less of a person for being on meds. I feel stronger than ever. I’m lucky now. I have a pdoc (middle aged male) who respects me as a human being and sees me as a competent, talented person, not just a mental patient. When I told him I was doing my own research on BP [bipolar], and networking with local support groups, he asked me for the resources. But I still take my medication which he prescribes. I do not see myself as “dependent” on him. I see myself as taking responsibility for myself by taking my medication as prescribed, being honest with my pdoc about my symptoms, and doing what I can to control my symptoms and live a full life. 7
    And this newsgroup posting responds to a question about a particular medication.
    I’ve been on Neurontin for two years now. I asked to try it for both mood stabilization and to help control chronic pain. It is one of the things in my arsenal that helps keep my emotions on a more even keel. I ramped up to 3600 mg of Neurontin—that was best for the pain, but it was not so good for my mood. So, I backed down to 2400 mg/day—which works best for me. But, it did not do enough for my mood. So I added 10 grams of cold pressed flax seed oil/day. I was already taking trazodone and lithium. The combination of all of them and massive doses of all b-vitamins has brought me a long way to better control of my emotions and my behavior. Neurontin has a half life of 6 hours—so it should be dosed every six hours for mood stabilization—otherwise—you will see no benefit from it. IOW [in other words] Neurontin does not build levels in your body like other medications. I will not give up Neurontin—it has been a godsend for me. I get a bit shaky or clumsy sometimes, but well worth it for the benefits. 8
    In these messages, the writers try to convince their correspondents to continue taking medication by arguing that a person on drugs for manic depression does not lose control to either the drugs or the prescribing doctor. A person can remain in control, active and responsible: in the terms introduced here, the person can retain full personhood and agency through the ability to make autonomous, rational choices about which drugs to take.
    In my fieldwork, in settings other than support groups, I observed professional psychiatrists or psychologists striving to help “mentally ill” patients retain or recover the hallmarks of full personhood and rationality, especially the ability to carry out self-monitoring. However, their efforts were often somewhat ambivalent, reflecting both the easy slippage across the line between rationality and irrationality and the great social distance between doctor and patient. At one conference I attended annually during my fieldwork, the meetings of the patient advocacy organization, NDMDA, researchers, clinicians, advocates, and patients lectured, listened, and held discussions on different aspects of manic depression. Many lecturers had understandable problems finding a voice that could include everyone in the audience. In one lecture, Charles Nemeroff, an eminent psychiatrist who does research on manic depression, began by including patients with manic depression in the audience in his remarks: “How do you live with a tiger in your tank? You have to balance denial and comfort against terror of the beast. We all end up with foibles and weaknesses we have to deal with.” But he then marked a clear line between himself, other researchers, and drug developers, on the one hand, and patients with manic depression, on the other. His point of reference shifted to make it clear there was a line across which he was talking.