way down in the water on the floor next to her and put my arms around her. We sat there for a really long time while she cried and I decided that no matter how much time passed they were never going to be the same. I felt like I’d lost my sister and my parents. I spent a few more hours there. I got Mom cleaned up and tucked her into her bed. Then I cleaned up the kitchen and checked on Dad again. He wasn’t crying any longer, but I still didn’t go in. Now he was burning Emma’s name into a new piece of wood. I had no idea what for and I wasn’t going to ask. I went back inside and got out some more spaghetti noodles. I cooked them and made some sauce with what I could find in the pantry. I looked in on Mom. She was asleep. I went out to finally talk to Dad and I found him with his head down on his workbench, asleep as well. I doubted either of them had been getting much sleep at night. I left him alone again and just left a note for them on the chalkboard in the kitchen, letting them know that dinner was ready. I locked the front door on my way out, but I realized that the pain locked in there with them was probably worse than anything that could walk in the door. I picked up my own dinner on the way home and when I got there, I locked myself in the apartment with my own grief. I ate about two bites but nothing tasted good, so I threw it all away. I found a mindless comedy on HBO and lay down on the couch to watch it. About half an hour into the movie my text message alert went off. I nearly kicked myself in the ass for hoping it was Alexa when I reached for it. It wasn’t. It was Kristie. Surprise. She must have been in “sane” mode because the text said, “ I’m sorry for bothering you. I just want to make sure you’re doing okay. I feel so bad about Emma and can’t stop thinking about how hard it must be on you.” I guess her sanity brought out the insanity in me because I texted her back: “Thanks, Kristie. I miss her so bad.” “I know baby,” she texted back. “You shouldn’t be alone. You should let me come over and just hold you.” As good as that sounded at the moment, I wasn’t quite that insane yet. I tried to avoid answering by saying, “How are you doing?” “I’m good. I got a new personal trainer though. I was having nothing but problems with Jose. I gained five pounds last week.” I read that and laughed out loud. Poor Jose, she blamed him for everything. “So who are you going to now?” I asked. I wasn’t sure why I was feeding into this…any of it. I just desperately didn’t want to be alone right now. “I got a female trainer. Her name is Violet March. Do you know her?” “Not personally, but I’ve heard good things.” I heard she was a ball-buster, but that’s what Kristie needed, Someone to stand up to her and not take her crap. She was quite the snob when she wanted to be. “So how is the fighting going?” In Kristie language that translated to: Are you still raking in the bucks? Kristie liked the finer things in life. Unfortunately for her she hadn’t found a sugar daddy that she was okay with being seen with in public. So, she settled for me because she thought there was a chance I’d be famous someday. “Good, I’m winning, a lot,” I texted back. “I have one tomorrow night.” “Oh yay!” she replied. Then there was a pause between texts for about fifteen minutes. The one that came then said, “Can I go?” I told myself that at least she was asking now and not just showing up. That was an improvement, right? “Yeah. How about we have dinner after?” What the hell? Did I just ask my crazy ex-girlfriend to dinner? I guess I was the one that just said you shouldn’t hold people’s past against them. Everyone can change. “I’d love to,” she texted back. We made arrangements to meet after the fight. I ended the conversation feeling better. It was something to look forward to…I think.