Benefit of the Doubt: A Novel Read Free Page B

silent. He bent at the waist and drew deep breaths. Large drops of sweat fell from his face to the floor. The reality of Newberg returned.
    Two minutes remained of his self-imposed physical torture. Ben restarted the machine and finished his run at a slow jog, emptying his mind of everything but the motion of his arms and legs and the steady thump of his heart. Done, he headed for the showers. An arriving officer looked Ben over and gave nothing more than a nod of his head and a look that said it all. No greeting of respect or friendship. Ben avoided eye contact. He gave no indication he would even want to stop and shoot the breeze. Ben had come to accept his place in this strange world. Outsider. Non-player. Chief’s boy.
    Ben listened to the newcomer join in with the officers already present. He heard the exchange of curse words, insults, and bravado: standard greetings for cops sheltered from public view. He felt the familiar pang of isolation.
    In the crude shower room, Ben cranked the water as hot as it would go. Steam filled the stall, and he worked to lose himself in the mist. Ben pushed his head under the water, and a thousand hot needle pricks scalded the back of his neck. He forced himself to relax. It was time to put it all away again. Try to be normal for the entire day that lay ahead. He closed his eyes and spoke in a low voice to the only person that was the least bit interested in hearing anything he had to say.
    “Forget about Oakland, Sawyer. This is Newberg.”

 
    TWO
    Alex Sawyer stood in front of the century-old house, stretched her arms above her head, and drew crisp, spring air deep into her lungs. The morning sun had escaped from the lingering mood of Wisconsin’s strongest season, and the warmth felt good against her face. She took in the neighborhood of stylish Victorian homes surrounded by towering oaks, a stark contrast to the California subdivision where she and Ben had lived for more than ten years. That neighborhood had oozed comfortable conformity—five different floor plans, three color palettes, tiled roofs, and postage-stamp yards. The eclectic Old World charm of Newberg fed her Midwestern nostalgia. In that respect it was good to be home.
    Alex stepped off the porch, jogging at a brisk pace, and began to mentally map out her day.
    With twelve-year-old Jake off to school, Alex knew whatever plans she cared to make had to revolve around the two other men in her life. Then again, dealing with her husband wasn’t an issue—Ben had pulled his usual early-morning disappearing act and snuck off to the police department gym before the sun was up. Won’t be seeing him until dinner, she thought. Alex had done her best, but there was no denying that resentment had begun to set in. These early-morning departures were getting old. When was the last time we enjoyed coffee in bed? Or how about just sleeping in? But she felt no anger, more a sense of loss.
    He’s been through a lot, she reminded herself. Thrown to the wolves by his own department. Tossed aside after almost fifteen years of dedicated service. Forced to come back here and work for his father-in-law. Of course, Ben refused to talk about it. Typical cop. Confront an armed gunman in a dark alley? No problem. Talk about personal issues? No way. If he ever does open up, she told herself, I want to be there for him . Then again, how much longer was she expected to wait? But her absentee husband was only one of the troubled cops in her life. The other was her most challenging relationship of all.
    Four months had passed since Police Chief Lars Norgaard collapsed while giving his update on the state of crime in Newberg to the local Chamber of Commerce. He had been air-lifted to the university hospital in Madison sixty miles away. By the time Alex reached him, her father had slipped deep into a nonresponsive state that lasted for days. He had finally come around, but the initial reports were grim: severe stroke with possible brain damage.