Beloved Pilgrim Read Free Page B

of your own. You know that's true."
    Elisabeth nodded dumbly. "Yes, Papa."
    "You will be married before we set out."
    To Elisabeth his words sounded like a death
knell.
    The household plunged into activity at once.
Despite anxiety for his wife, Sigismund could not hide his
anticipation. Elias and Albrecht did not even try.
    Elisabeth found herself left out of the boys'
preparations. She could only stand on the periphery and watch
glumly as the three men in her life spent every waking moment
arranging to leave her behind and to a fate she could not
comprehend. She realized how much more her mother must dread this
parting. Though they had rarely talked, mother to daughter, she
sought her out and confided.
    "Mama, how will we bear it?" she sighed while
the two sat together in Adalberta's solar.
    The older woman put a comforting hand on her
daughter's supple one. "That is our lot, my dear. Women wait while
men go abroad."
    "Men are so selfish!" Elisabeth could not
restrain her outburst.
    Her mother shook her head. "Nay, it is not
selfishness. It is duty. Theirs is to obey their masters. Ours is
to obey them."
    "I don't understand why it has to be like
that. Peasant men and women work together in almost everything. I
have seen them, side by side in the fields, planting or harvesting.
Why can we not do the same? And why do they have to go to war
anyway? It seems to me that life would be so much better without
going to war." The girl's face held a petulant sort of
challenge.
    Sighing, her mother shook her head. "I have
failed you, my daughter, and for that I am most heartily sorry. I
have not spent the time with you that I should. You spend all your
time in your brother's company, never learning what it is to be a
woman. I hoped Marta would fill my place, but she is even more
indulgent than I." Reaching to cradle her daughter's chin in her
palm, she drew Elisabeth's reluctant eyes to her own. "Perhaps it
is best if my lord does go to the Holy Land and prays for my
health. Perhaps it is not too late for me to spend the time with
you I have neglected. There is so much you have to learn before you
are wed."
    Fear clouded Elisabeth's eyes. "And that is
another thing! I hardly know Reinhardt. What I do remember I did
not like."
    "He is strong and can provide for you and
your children. He is an honorable man you can be proud of." She let
go her daughter's chin. "It is for the best."
    Elisabeth stood and stepped stiffly to the
window embrasure. "I shan't need to be provided for. I will die
giving birth to his brats just like his other wives. That's all
women are for. To have babies then die." Her thoughtless words hit
her like a slap. She whirled to face her mother. "Oh, my dearest
Mama, I am so sorry! I did not mean . . . "
    Adalberta shook her head compassionately. "I
know you did not mean to hurt my feelings. And truly, darling, I
understand your fear. You cannot know the joys that make it all
worthwhile. The companionship of your husband, the satisfaction of
running your household, and, most of all, the love for your
children." She put out her thin arms to her daughter who went to
her, knelt, and leaned into the embrace.
    "You have Papa. He loves you. That is why you
endure it all."
    Pressing Elisabeth's head to her breast, she
reassured, "Your Papa and I love each other very much, and it is
true. But we did not even know each other when we were wed. Love
came over time. And from our union came you and your brother. Just
think, if I had thought like you do now, none of that could have
ever come about."
    The girl nodded her head against her mother's
body. "I don't understand how Papa can go and leave you
suffering."
    "It is because I am suffering that he is
going!"
    Looking up at her mother's strained
expression, Elisabeth shook her head. "I know that, Mama, but it is
more. He wants to go. Almost as much as Elias and Albrecht. Why do
they want to go and leave us behind?"
    The knight's wife pulled her daughter up so
she would sit beside