Behind Closed Doors (Season One: Book 7) (Jessica Daniel) Read Free Page A

I understand because I
don’t. I’m simply saying I know. If you want to stay here doing whatever it is you’re doing then that’s fine. You’re on indefinite leave and we’ll wait for you
– I’ll wait. But if you want to return, this is a way of coming back without actually having to.’
    Jessica shook her head. ‘What if I don’t want to?’
    ‘Then we’ll move on. They’ll find someone else. The crucial part is that if you’re going to do it, then you have to have a sense of self-preservation. It could be
dangerous, they need someone who’s sharp and resilient. Someone who can get themselves out at a moment’s notice if necessary.’
    ‘You think that’s me?’
    Cole’s reaction surprised her. Jessica had been expecting him to lay a guilt trip on her, offering her a way to return to work, even though she wasn’t ready. Instead he started to
stand. ‘Actually, now I’ve seen you, no, I don’t.’
    Jessica remained sitting, aware of him standing over her. She wasn’t sure why but his words felt like a rebuke, a questioning of everything she had ever done.
    ‘Is this about what happened with Scott and the gun going off?’
    A poor piece of judgement by Jessica had led to her trying to make an arrest with her friend and colleague, Detective Constable David Rowlands. Their target pulled out a gun and fired. The fact
they had so badly misjudged what could have happened led to an official inquiry.
    ‘We were all cleared of that,’ Cole replied. ‘It was no one’s fault but the person who brought weapons onto the premises and the one who pulled the trigger. Besides, we
both know there’s far more to it than that.’
    Jessica stood quickly, aggrieved. She glared into her boss’s eyes but he had none of the anger she was suddenly feeling. ‘Is this some reverse psychology thing? You say I’m not
up to it, so I change my mind to try to prove you wrong?’
    Cole shook his head. ‘Even if it was, you’d see through it instantly, in much the way you just have.’
    ‘So what is it then?’
    He sighed, turning up the collar on his shirt and moving through the house to the hallway where he took his coat from the banister and put it on. Jessica followed him, furious he wasn’t
replying.
    ‘Come on,’ she demanded, tears close. ‘What is it?’
    As soon as he met her eyes, she knew. ‘I already told you – it’s about self-preservation. If the volunteer gets into trouble, they need to have the sense to get themselves out.
They have to look after themselves first. You can only do that if you’re bothered what happens to you.’
    ‘You don’t think I care what happens to me?’
    Jessica could hear the whimper in her voice. She wanted to deny it, to shout that she
did
care, but she knew it would be a lie.
    Cole watched her carefully.
    ‘I’m broken,’ she whispered.
    He stepped forward, putting a protective arm around her. Jessica embraced him, cradling her head into his shoulder and barely hanging onto the tears.
    His reply was firm and fatherly. ‘If you want things to change, sometimes you have to help yourself.’

SATURDAY

2
    Jessica gasped as she walked into the pub, the chill of the air outside replaced by the warm orange glow and crackling of the fire next to the bar. Her footsteps creaked on the
hard wooden floor and Jessica felt people turning to face her, wondering who the stranger was. She made her snap judgements, as she always did.
    There was the farmer on his own at the bar, dried mud on his wellington boots and a heavy dark green waxed jacket, ready to head out again. In a booth to her right was a middle-aged man and a
woman, refusing to acknowledge anyone else. They were no doubt having an affair and had sneaked off to this countryside hideaway, safe from the accusing eyes of their partners.
    In the back corner was a couple staring at plates of half-eaten food, not talking, not doing anything other than wallowing in the broken remains of their unhappy marriage.