Beauty and the Mustache Read Free Page A

dismissal of him was likely
undermined by the fact that I was leaving in a snit while wearing
nothing but my sleep shorts and pajama top. Also undermining my
superiority was the fact that I’d just attacked his chest then
fondled it. I’d even ogled him, and he’d responded with
repulsion.
    So…yeah, I didn’t have
much air in my sad little kite.
    Once I was back in the
house, the door behind me, I leaned against it and released a slow
breath. My hands were fisted at my sides so I shook them out,
flexing my fingers, and sent a silent prayer upward that whatever
was going on with my momma was resolved sooner rather than
later.
    I climbed the stairs two
at a time, holding the banister for balance, and crossed to the
upstairs bathroom. I had no desire for any further interactions
with Viking marauders, especially when the marauder was so good
looking that it nearly eclipsed his entitled arrogance.
    These were the thoughts in
my head when I opened the bathroom door and, to my life-long
horror, saw Beauford Winston—at least I think it was Beauford,
though it could have been Duane, the other twin—standing at the
edge of the tub. He was naked except for his ginger beard, a dirty
magazine propped on the counter, and his hand wrapped around Beau
Jr.
    I screamed.
    He screamed.
    My hands flew to my face.
    He cursed.
    I heard a thud and I
turned my back to him. I was now fully and mortifyingly
awake.
    “ Shit, Ash. What the hell
are you doing here?”
    “ Sorry, sorry, sorry—I
should have knocked.”
    “ Nah…” he huffed, “I
should have locked the door. It’s just that everyone knows Tuesday
mornings are my time slot.”
    “ Your slot? What do you
mean your time slot?”
    “ It’s my private time in
the tub, you know, to get my rub on.”
    “ Gah!” I shook my head and
pressed my palms into my eyes.
    “ I can give you a copy of
the schedule.”
    I heard the front door
open and footsteps thundering through the house then up the
stairs.
    “ Don’t!
Do not give
me a schedule. I don’t want to know. Just, can’t you put a sock on
the door or something?”
    “ That’s what we used to do
but then we kept losing socks. It’s good to see you,
Ash.”
    “ Uh, you too…?” My hands
fell away from my face and I moved to the doorway. “I’ll just give
you some privacy.”
    My escape was blocked by
the worried visages of three shirtless, sweaty men—Jethro, Billy,
and Drew Runous.
    I closed my eyes and
covered my face again; I seriously considered crawling into the
cabinet under the bathroom sink, one of my favorite places to hide
from my brothers’ torture when I was a kid. I wondered if I would
still fit.
    “ What the hell?” Jethro’s
winded exclamation met my ears, and I stifled a groan.
    “ Are you okay?” Billy
asked. I felt a small, hesitant touch on my shoulder. “We heard
screams.”
    I nodded. “Yes. Fine. I
just need to learn to knock.”
    “ Who screamed?” Drew
demanded.
    “ I did,” I said, inwardly
grimacing.
    “ We heard two screams,”
Jethro contradicted. “Did you scream twice?”
    “ I didn’t scream. I…I
hollered.” Beauford said.
    “ That wasn’t a holler.
That was a scream. You screamed like a woman.” Billy said this like
he was addressing a jury.
    “ Whatever, screamed,
hollered, who cares. I should have locked the door.” Beauford’s
easy-going tone made me feel a bit better. I didn’t remember him
being so nice. Then he said, “Oh, hey, Drew. Didn’t see you
there.”
    “ Hey, Beau.”
    “ What happened to your
chest?” Beau asked.
    I wished for the ability
to disappear, especially when Drew responded, “Some woman couldn’t
keep her hands off me. What’s going on in here?”
    Beau didn’t answer. The
room was blanketed in a brief silence as, I was sure, understanding
began to dawn.
    Jethro was the one to
break the awkward soundless comprehension. “Uh,” He cleared his
throat. “Tuesday mornings are Beau’s time slot.”
    “ I know that now,”