Beautifully Broken Read Free Page B

my veins just thinking of a life strapped down to Lucas and a
couple kids. Kids?  Ha, how fucked-up would I be as a mother?
    Our
last year on campus I actually convinced this cute sorority guy that Lucas was
my friend and we began dating, if that’s what you can call it. I was never
serious about Charles I was mostly using him to get Lucas to back off. He was
getting very persistent and his depressed moods every time I turned him down
worried me. I was hoping he would move on and we could remain friends.
    Charles
was hot in the preppy kind of way and I lusted after him like crazy. I wanted
to do things to him that would blow his mind but he didn’t like the way Lucas
clung to me so I had to get Lucas to back off quickly. I never expected Lucas
reaction to my new relationship with Charles to be so hostile. He refused to
talk to me for weeks after I told him he could no longer sleep in my bed. His
irritated glare would follow me as I moved around the classes we had together.
Then he started dating Amber Williamson. Campus cheerleader, Vice President of
her sorority and all around spoilt princess. She had made most of my college career
miserable.
    She
had always wanted Lucas since freshman year but he was too engrossed in me to
even notice her. His boyish good looks, hard body and fuzzy low cut brown hair
had most girls on campus checking him out. When he smiled a single dimple
appeared on his right cheek and his blue eyes would sparkle.
    He
would stroll around campus with Amber completely ignoring me and what I felt in
my stomach was a lot like what I thought jealousy would feel like, having never
experienced jealousy before that time. Her triumphant smiles as they strolled
past me would bring on an urge to bash her head in.
    The
last week before winter break Charles invited me to a party at his sorority
house and I was excited. The first frat party I went to freshman year was
ruined by Amber and her sorority sisters. I went on a three year boycott of all
things frat that night walking to my dorm drenched from hair to shoes in beer
foam.
    That
night at the party with Charles, everything started out amazingly. We walked
through campus hand in hand laughing and joking. He never left my side at the party;
he knew how nervous I was about these things. When Amber showed up wrapped
around Lucas, Charles immediately sensed my tension and pulled me to the dance
floor. We danced and drank for what felt like hours.
    Amber
was dry humping Lucas up against a wall when Charles dragged me up to his room.
He tossed me onto his mattress and took me fast and furiously. All thoughts of
the party and Lucas vanished from my mind from the force of my orgasm. I’ve
always had a love for sex, it’s just the attachments and commitments I hate or
if I’m honest with myself-fear. Charles was great but he was a means to an end.
I would never belong to anyone. It’s one of the main reasons I never fucked
Lucas. I love him too much to hurt him the way I know I’m capable of.
    Lucas
may have been able to keep all the boys on campus away from me but that doesn’t
mean I abstained for all those years. I would occasionally hangout with my
roommate and her friends. When we would hit the off campus clubs I almost always
found a hit. You see, my drug of choice is sex. I love the rush that runs
through my body when I have a beautiful man on his knees licking the cream from
my pussy. The power he exerts to find his release within me, excites me.
    Over
the years I slept with countless men. Unfamiliar faces who hold a piece of my
broken soul, in exchange for a hit of their addictive rock hard manhood. From
very early on I understood the power I held over men with my ‘awe-inspiring
beauty’ as my dad would tell me. His constant praise of my beauty caused a huge
rift in my relationship with my mother. She had always been the most beautiful
woman in every room and she resented my beauty outshining hers.
    That
night after pulling myself from under a passed out