Batman 3 - Batman Forever

Batman 3 - Batman Forever Read Free Page A

Book: Batman 3 - Batman Forever Read Free
Author: Peter David
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propped his chin on his hand and replied, “Who’s there?” Then he batted his eyes.
    Raymond’s mouth opened, and then it closed. “Huh?”
    One of Raymond’s cronies started to snicker. Raymond looked at him suspiciously. “What? What’s so funny?”
    “The joke,” said the crony. “Well . . . kind of funny.”
    Raymond still looked utterly befuddled. Knowing that he was already pushing his luck, nevertheless Edward said, “Maybe you’ll understand it if you try it.”
    “Okay,” Raymond said gamely. He turned to the kid standing next to him. “Wanna hear a knock knock joke for morons?”
    “I’m sure he does, Raymond,” Ed said brightly. “Why don’t you start?”
    “Okay. Knock knock.”
    “Who’s there?” came the reply.
    And once again, Raymond stood there.
    Ed looked back down at his puzzle and commented, “That’s what we love about you, Raymond. Your train of thought is powered by the little engine that couldn’t.”
    He snickered slightly, but his private amusement was cut short by Raymond’s rough hand grabbing him by the back of the hair and snapping his head back. Ed gasped.
    “How’d you like me to bend you into a question mark, funny guy?”
    “Ohhh, I don’t think so,” Ed grunted.
    “I was really tryin’ to be nice. The shrink, and the guidance counselor, and the parole officer . . . they all say I should try and be nicer. Talk t’people that I’d just like t’beat the crap outta and be int’rested.” His face grew darker. “But it’s so much easier to pound . . .”
    “Wanna hear another riddle? Legit!” he added when Raymond growled in response. “Really! A famous one! Real old!”
    “This better be on the level,” Raymond told him.
    “It is! I swear!”
    “Go on.”
    “What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening?”
    Not letting up on the pressure, Raymond nevertheless sounded curious. “I dunno. What?”
    “Raymond!”
    It was the stern, angry voice of a teacher, heading their way. He wasn’t especially tall, but he carried himself with a confidence that seemed to add a foot to his height. He had a newspaper tucked under his arm. He peered up and over his thick glasses at Raymond, who promptly eased up the pressure.
    “Hi, Mr. Pike,” said Raymond. “Problem?”
    Edward was rubbing the back of his neck. “What’s the matter?” he asked derisively. “Run out of comfy sofa space in the teachers’ lounge?”
    “You’re not funny, Edward.”
    “Yes, well,” and he glanced up at Raymond, “that seems to be the consensus today.”
    “We were just talking,” said Raymond sullenly.
    “Talking doesn’t usually require students twisting someone’s head in a painful manner.”
    “Right,” Edward said gamely. “Leave that for the teachers.”
    Impressively, Mr. Pike looked even less amused than before. Edward quickly put up his hands and said, “Right. I know. Not funny.”
    “What’s the answer, Eddie?” said Raymond.
    “Go find your own answers, Raymond,” said the teacher. “Now.”
    Raymond seemed to study him with a manner of sullen glare that Pike sensed probably extended back to Neanderthal times. Then Raymond and his pals moved off. Mr. Pike turned to Edward and said, “I was helping you, Edward. A little less smart-mouthing would be in order.”
    “Yes sir,” Edward said in his most contrite voice.
    “And you shouldn’t be sitting around doing puzzle books. This is the library, for crying out loud. Read one of the books.”
    “Already have, sir. All of ’em. I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge.”
    The comment sounded so pompous that Pike assumed Edward was screwing around again. But then he saw the intensity with which Edward Nygma had spoken, and thought, Son of a gun means it. After a moment, he tossed the newspaper down in front of Edward. “Here. Read today’s paper yet? Gotham Globe?”
    “No sir.”
    Pike nodded once, and then walked away. Edward immediately

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