Back in the Soldier's Arms Read Free Page B

looked at her, she saw a sadness, a deepness there that she’d never seen before on his face. A hurt that she felt mirrored in her own steely gaze.
    “Penny, I love you so much,” he said, leaning forward, hands on his knees. “I know you don’t believe me, but I’m so sorry for what I did. If there was anything I could do to make it up to you, any way to prove to you that it meant nothing to me, that it was the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life, I’d do it.”
    Penny stood then, moved past him. Brushed fiercely past his outstretched hand, not wanting to touch him. Not having the strength to be so close to him.
    Because goddamn it, it hurt.
    “Trust was all we had, Daniel, and you broke that.”
    She couldn’t face him because tears were streaming down her cheeks, leaving wet, slippery marks across her skin. As they curled toward her mouth she let her tongue flick out to catch the salty wetness of them.
    Had serving her country, being away for so long, caused her marriage to fail? Was it her fault? Did she have to shoulder some of the blame?
    “It wasn’t all we had, Penny,” he said softly.
    Anger built within her, compelled her tears to stop. “It was everything, Daniel. Because without it, we have nothing.”
    He stood then, reached for her wrist. She yanked it back, not letting his skin connect with hers.
    “We have Gabby.”
    She nodded. “She will always be the most important person in my life, Daniel. And I know you’re a great dad. Nothing changes that.”
    He stared at her. Waiting for the but.
    Penny kept it inside her mouth, though, not letting the words spill.
    But you ‘re a crappy husband, she wanted to say. And you’ve hurt me more than I ever thought was possible. No matter how hard this was for him, no matter what he’d been through, he was here and she was going back to no-man’s-land.
    “I’m sorry, Penny. I don’t know how else to say it to you, or what I can do. But I’m sorry and I love you.”
    She swallowed, shaking her head to stop the words from settling in her mind.
    “I’m sorry, too, Daniel,” she replied, squaring her shoulders and looking him straight in the eye. Penny took a deep, shaky breath. “And for the record, it’s not because I’m incapable of forgiving, it’s because I can’t forget, Daniel. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forget what you did.”
    Couldn’t forget that he’d been with another woman. That his hands had touched another’s skin, his mouth had traced another’s lips.
    It made her skin crawl.
    This time it was him who was swallowing, who was shaking his head sadly.
    “I don’t know what else I can say to prove to you how important you are to me. How much I love you.”
    She shook her head. “Can we drop it, Daniel, please? I just want us to play happy families for Gabby’s birthday, remain civil and be the parents I know we both want to be.”
    “Daddy?”
    Gabby’s little voice rang out down the hall, still croaky with sleep.
    Daniel went to move, but Penny stepped in front of him.
    “Let me.”
    He didn’t resist.
    “I don’t want to have this conversation while Gabby’s around. I’m only here for the week, and there’s no point in upsetting her.”
    Daniel stood, arms hanging loosely by his side, posture alert, tall, not yet defeated. So unlike the strong man she was used to, the one who would never back down.
    Like he had so much left to say, like he wanted to fight for what he wanted, but was unsure how the hell to do it.
    “It’s your call, Penny.”
    She turned her back on him and went to her daughter.
    Tears still threatened, but she shrugged them away. After what she’d survived in the army, what she’d seen and experienced, she should have been able to cope with this. But nothing she’d seen serving overseas could compare.
    Her heart was breaking, slowly, over and over, and there was nothing she could do about it.
    No way to help it heal before it shattered all over again. Like a record stuck