again while Jamie leaned against the fireplace like a disapproving Victorian father. I sat down on the sofa opposite Tansy.
âI donât know where to start,â she said, picking up her wine again.
âWell how about,â Jamie said, âyou start at the beginning and you carry on until the part where you arrive on my doorstep with a kid?â
His voice was very calm, but I could tell he was very close to exploding. Tansy obviously knew it too. She took a breath.
âThings were pretty bad between us at the end, remember?â she said. Jamie nodded, grim-faced.
âYou were talking about coming back to the UK, and I thought there was more to do in Africaâ¦â She looked into her almost-full wine glass, then back up at Jamie. âI said some horrible things to you.â
âI can help people here, too,â Jamie said.
Tansy nodded.
âI know that now,â she said. âI was a bit worthy back then.â
The ghost of a smile crossed Jamieâs lips.
âYou mean you were wrong,â he said.
Tansy gave him a look that was verging on disdainful.
âThe day before you left,â she said. âRemember how awful it was?â
âKids died all the time,â Jamie said, turning to me. His eyes were distant as he remembered. âYou never got used to it, but we lived with it. We got on with helping the ones we could help. But that day was rough. There was a lot of malaria about and it seemed all the kids nearby were suffering. We had a queue outside the centre, we were letting in as many patients as we could but we had kids sharing beds. It was heartbreakingâ¦â
Tansy shifted on the sofa and stroked her little boyâs hair. Her eyes were full of tears.
âThat day, so many died,â Jamie went on. âSo many. And all I could hear was the women crying, wailing, for their lost children.â He shook his head. âBut the kids never cried. They just lay there, so weak, looking up at us. Trusting us to make them better. And we couldnât.â He swallowed. I was close to tears too but I didnât want to interrupt his story.
âI was upset,â Tansy said. âJamie and I hadnât been intimate for weeks, months maybe. But that night, I just wanted to be close to someone. To feelâ¦â
âYeah, okay,â I said. I really didnât need to hear the details of MY Jamieâs make-up sex with this woman. âI get the idea.â
Tansy turned her attention to Jamie.
âAnd then, when I woke up, you were packing,â she said. âAnd we fought again. And then you left.â
Jamie shrugged.
âIt was the right thing to do,â he said. âIf Iâd stayed weâd have been in a never-ending cycle of making up and breaking up.â
âYouâre right,â Tansy said. âYouâre right. And then I got sick. Really sick. I had malaria too. First they took me to hospital in Mombasa â then, when I was strong enough, I flew home.â She paused. âI donât remember much about it.â
Jamie didnât speak. Tansy twirled her wine glass in her hand. I willed her to drink some more so I could legitimately top up her glass â and mine â but she didnât.
âWhen Iâd been home a few days the doctor told me I was pregnant,â she said. âI was shocked at first, but it was knowing that I had a reason to recover that got me through.â
I thought about saying something, then Jamie gave me a warning glance and I thought better of it.
âI was a mess, Jamie,â Tansy said. âI was weak and depressed, and I didnât know what to do. By the time Iâd got it all clear in my head, Parker was born. Then there was baby stuff, and workâ¦â
âWork?â Jamie prompted.
âAt the hospital in Boston,â she said. âAnd one day a week at a mobile clinic working with pregnant women in the
David Drake, S.M. Stirling
Kimberley Griffiths Little