Babies in Waiting Read Free Page A

not even starting to show yet, and . . .’ Simon stopped cold. ‘Oh my God. You mean . . .’
    ‘I’ve got to get rid of it, Si. You know I do. How can I go through with this and carry on with my life?’
    ‘Get rid of it?’ He looked completely horrified, and as he repeated the words Louise heard how awful they sounded.
    ‘It’s not an old car or something, Lou. It’s a baby.’
    ‘Don’t say that. Please don’t say that. I have to think of it as an inconvenient clump of cells or I won’t be able to do it.’
    Simon opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, then nodded. There was a long silence. He smiled weakly at her.
    ‘Now you’ve thrown up, do you feel better? Shall I cook, or should we get a takeaway or go out?’
    ‘Out,’ said Louise. ‘Out is good.’
    They went to a busy pizza place in Canary Wharf, where the music, chatter and plate noise meant they didn’t haveto talk much. By the time they got back to Simon’s flat, Louise was dead on her feet. She kissed him goodnight, brushed her teeth and fell into a deep and dreamless sleep in Simon’s cosy spare room.
    In the quietest part of the night, she jerked awake suddenly. London’s ever-present orange glow lit the room. She’d never got used to the way it didn’t get properly dark there. She glanced at the bedside clock. It was 3 a.m. Then, with a shock, she realized Simon was sitting on the edge of her bed, watching her. She struggled to sit up. In the half light, she could only see the wet glow of his eyes. She waited for him to speak.
    ‘Don’t do it, Lou. I beg you. I’ve been sitting up for hours, arguing with myself, saying that it’s your decision, that you have to do what’s best for you, that the circumstances are terrible.’
    ‘Simon, I . . .’
    ‘Please, let me say my bit. I’ve been practising in the sitting room for hours. Then you can shoot me down.’
    She nodded.
    ‘The circumstances
are
awful, it’s true. Your job, what people will say, what that wanker Brian will say . . . and yes, before you interrupt, he
is
a wanker . . .’
    Louise had no choice but to smile and nod.
    Simon continued. ‘But this is a baby, Lou. An actual, real human being. He or she exists. They didn’t pick the circumstances, but it’s happened, and right now, the inconvenient bundle of cells is growing. It’s got a heart, did you know that? And legs and arms . . . it’s got wrists!’
    ‘How do you know . . .?’
    ‘I looked on the internet. There are pictures. You should see them.’
    ‘I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t.’
    For the first time, Simon’s voice became firm. Up until now, he’d been really gentle with her.
    ‘I think you should. Lou, I’m your brother. I know deep down you’ve always wanted a baby. And now you have one. It might not be fathered by the man you’d choose if you were in your right mind, it might mean some big life changes, but it’s still a baby. Your baby. And you know what? If you came to live in London, it could be our baby. Little Sprog Holmes, raised by Mummy Lou and Uncle Simon.’
    ‘Simon . . .’
    ‘Just think about it, okay? I would never have forgiven myself if I hadn’t said my piece. I’ll love you and support you whatever you do, but just . . . think about it.’
    And then he was gone.
    When Louise woke up in the morning, Simon had already left for work. He’d printed pictures out from a baby website and left them on her bedside table. They showed a funny, curled-up little prawn with starfish hands. Under the picture, Louise read: ‘Congratulations – your embryo is now called a foetus, which means “offspring”.’
    Louise lay back down and let the tears come. She wished she’d never told Simon. It just wasn’t fair. He’d made this so much harder. It just wasn’t possible. How would she support a baby? If she moved down to London, she’d haveto leave her job. She could hardly get a new job, several months pregnant, and even if someone would take her on,