took the beer and popped the tab. He’d sworn never to drink again, so he’d only have one. “How was school today?"
"Boring." Jennifer licked her fingers.
"Oh, I wish I had a boring day at school." He looked at her plate. “Holy Moses! Are you going to eat all that? I thought you said a small piece?"
"I can eat it all." No doubt she could when it came to chocolate.
He gulped half the beer. "Give me a bite."
"I thought you didn't like chocolate!"
"Goes well with beer." He took a forkful. "Umm! Good stuff... Can I have another little piece before you finish it off?" He smiled mischievously before taking a huge bite.
"Dad!" She looked offended. "That's a big piece!" But she laughed. He liked that about Jennifer. She held no grudges.
He chewed with exaggerated gusto. "What can I say, I have a big mouth. And since you're up, go get me another beer." He turned his attention to the television screen and switched the channel. One more beer couldn’t hurt.
Jennifer came back and handed him the beer. "Can I sit in your lap, Dad?"
"You're getting a little heavy for that, kid, but how can I resist those beautiful eyes?" He treated her like a woman, always had. It made her feel important. That way she didn’t resent his girlfriends as much. There had been so many before Veronica, since his teenage wife and son died. Jennifer’s mother had been one of them...
Jennifer jumped on his lap and spilled the beer.
"Goddamn, girl! You have been doing that since you were four!" He brushed the wet couch. Was she doing it on purpose? She knew he always kept his beer on the right side. Even as a toddler, she would come straight at him and spill it. “Go get me another one."
Jennifer hurried to the kitchen and came back handing him another can with an unsteady hand. "I'm sorry Dad. I didn't do it on purpose, I swear."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Come give me a hug." He kissed her on the forehead. “You know, if you become as pretty as your mom, with these big green eyes, I'm going to have to lock you up, or make you wear braces or something, before you turn thirteen."
" Was she pretty, my mom? Why don't we have any pictures of her?"
"Good question. I think Krystal burned them."
"I never liked Krystal, and she sure didn't like me."
"You never liked any of the women I brought home."
"Veronica's okay... Do you think Penny is in heaven?"
Michael braced himself. Why did kids always have to bring up painful memories? Little Penny...Krystal’s daughter, not his but close enough. He couldn’t stand children’s suffering. "I'm sure she is up there, Jen. Why do you ask?"
"Kids at school... They say heaven doesn't exist." There was a short silence. "Penny would be eleven now... Why did she call you dad? You were not her dad."
Michael smiled sadly. "No, but I was there for her, so I was kind of her dad since he wasn't around. I always wondered, were you jealous of Penny?"
"A little bit, I guess." She closed her eyes, as if with guilt. “She always got everything she wanted."
"That's true... But since she had cystic fibrosis, we knew she was going to die, so we tried to make her happy."
"I know... She really loved you. Just before she died, you were the only one she wanted to see... Why?"
"She knew I loved her too. She wanted me to die with her so she would not be alone up there."
"Is that why you tried to kill yourself, Dad?"
"I don't know, love... I really don't know." Why did kids ask the darnest questions? “But I know that if I'm here today, it's because of you. You're what's keeping me alive, like a guardian angel."
Shadow the cat appeared in the hallway and jumped in his lap. Michael petted the big furry head.
"Are you going out tonight, Dad?"
Michael recognized the emotional blackmail. "I don't know. Maybe. Anyway, it's your bedtime."
"Dad?"
"What is it?"
"My mother... You told me I looked like her... I know she was doing drugs and stuff, but you told me that when I was old enough to understand, I could see her. I