Apt [Running to Love 6] (Siren Publishing Classic) Read Free Page A

made his rounds before heading back to his lonely bed.

Chapter Three
     
    “So you found yourself in the barn.” Dr. Massey’s calm, neutral comment helped Dave to continue.
    “I didn’t even know what town I got drunk in, let alone the bar. I picked a fight with the biggest locals, and it took five of them to beat me down. But not before I fucked, I mean, not before I messed them up good.”
    “That was important to you.” Again, no inference, just reflection, but it made Dave think.
    “It was important to me at the time. I was looking to punish myself, but I made people work for it. Maybe I secretly didn’t want to die. I don’t know.”
    “So you ended up in a barn.” Shit, she’d come back to that. She always came back to the hints that were actually the crux of the matter. Time to man up.
    “I guess I walked, or probably stumbled, into the night once I woke up in the alley. I had no idea where I was going, but I just kept walking. I actually walked into the side of the barn and knocked myself on my ass. I crawled around until I found the door and got inside and fell asleep in the straw. It was an empty barn.”
    “That’s important?”
    “Well, it didn’t smell bad, you know? Like cows or pigs or something.” Dave laughed. “I didn’t want to die in shit.”
    Dr. Massey waited, and the silence stretched out until he thought he might snap.
    “Next thing I knew this angel was wiping the blood off my face with a wet cloth. I opened my eyes and for sure knew I wasn’t in hell. All I could think of was how beautiful she was and how gentle her hands were.”
    Dave abruptly stood. “That’s about it. I guess I’ll see you tonight. You and Max.”
    “Your hour isn’t up, Dave. Please sit down.”
    Dave felt his backside hit the chair cushion before he made any conscious thought. Damn it, the Domme was in the room with them. He knew he should walk out but somehow understood it was now or never. He had to deal.
    “Her name is Fiona, and her folks owned the little farm I’d trespassed on. They took me in, kind Christian folk. And how did I repay them? I lusted after their only daughter, and damn near seduced her. I still don’t know how I didn’t fuck her senseless. And she would have let me do anything I wanted because the silly girl thought she was in love with me.”
    “She thought she was in love with you.”
    Dave ground his teeth so hard his jaw ached. “What would she know about love? She chose me, for fuck’s sake! A piece of shit, a poor excuse for a man. It was pity, and she confused it for love, and I took advantage of her.”
    “And you left.”
    “Fucking right I left. Before I did her. I packed up in the dead of night like the coward I am and lit out. And came here. That’s it. Are we done?”
    “Coward you are?”
    “Goddamn it, Meredith! Can you just quit poking? Yes, I’m a coward. I thought I was back to normal Dave, but I’m still a coward. I was never a coward before Afghanistan.” He sucked in air and rubbed his hands over his face, trying to compose himself.
    “Just to be clear, you consider yourself a coward…”
    He took a deep breath. “I was a good guy before I went over there. And then I wasn’t anymore. I tried to kill myself with excess! And she saw past the shit to who I used to be.
    “But I got scared. I thought I’d hurt her in the end. So I chickened out and ran, a coward.”
    “So you consider yourself a coward for walking out on someone who loves you?”
    “Exactly right.” Dave heard the words and slumped against the truth in them. He was back to himself again, essentially. No one in their right mind would call him a coward. But he owed Fiona and her parents. He needed to make it right. Fiona was misguided, thinking she loved him, and he didn’t want her to waste another minute of her time, hoping for something that would never come to pass.
    “I sent a note just so she’d know I was ok, and told her good-bye. But I need to go and see her and