Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter #16 - Blood Noir Read Free Page A

so ugly tonight; I just can’t seem to think clearly.”
    He pushed to his feet and started for the doorway.
    I opened my mouth to say don’t go, and yes. I closed it without saying any of it out loud, and looked at Nathaniel. I frowned at him. He was more than just my sweetie. The ardeur made me a sort of living vampire who fed off sex, but with the downsides came some interesting upsides. Nathaniel was my animal to call, which meant he was like my familiar. We shared emotions, power, and sometimes thoughts. “You’re projecting inside my head, aren’t you?”
    “You can shut me out if you want,” he said.
    Jason hesitated just short of the doorway. He frowned at us both. “I’m missing something.”
    I looked into the face of a man that I loved. “Is this really what you want?”
    “He’s my friend.”
    “You know, most guys don’t want their girlfriends to sleep with their friends.”
    “If you’d never slept with Jason, that would be different, but you have. Why is it wrong to sleep with him tonight?”
    I opened my mouth to say something reasonable, then closed it, because for the life of me, I couldn’t come up with a clearheaded answer. Why was it wrong to sleep with Jason tonight? Because I hadn’t planned on it? Because it felt slutty? Were any of those reasons good reasons?
    Jason stopped in the doorway, caught between the light of the kitchen and the darkness of the living room beyond. “I’ve made you feel sorry for me. I’m not sure I want that to be your motivation for taking me to bed.”
    “Once upon a time, you wouldn’t have cared why you got to sleep with me.”
    “I was a slut, I know.”
    “I didn’t mean that, Jason.”
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    “Stay here tonight,” Nathaniel said.
    He half-turned so he could see us, but his face was still mostly in shadow. “Why? Why do you want me to stay?”
    I shrugged at Nathaniel, with a this-was-your-idea expression.
    “Because you’re our friend. Because we care about you.”
    “And you, Anita, what’s your motivation?”
    I looked up at him. There was something defiant about the set of his shoulders, as if he expected me to hurt him. I tried very hard not to do that. “It just seems wrong for you to walk out the door right now. Stay, if the sex is an issue, then just stay for a big puppy pile. We can actually just sleep.”
    He shook his head. “You never want to make me just sleep, Anita.”
    That made me uncomfortable. “I don’t know what to say to that, Jason.”
    “Say you want me.”
    I started to say something, but Nathaniel touched my hand. “He needs the truth, Anita.”
    “And what is the truth?” I asked, taking my hand away from his.
    “Tell him how you feel, really feel about him.”
    I took a deep breath and thought about the truth; what was the truth? “You are one of the best friends I have, Jason, and you shouldn’t be alone tonight.”
    “Jean-Claude would let me sleep with him.”
    “But you wouldn’t let him hold you while you feel miserable.”
    “How do you know I wouldn’t?”
    “Call it a hunch.”
    He stood frozen in the doorway as if he couldn’t decide, or as if part of him wanted to and part of him didn’t. I’d made him come to me to hold his hand. Now I went to him. I wrapped my arms around him. He stayed stiff and unyielding. I pressed my head to his shoulder. “Stay with us tonight, Jason, please.”
    He whispered against my hair, “Why?”
    “Because you want to.”
    “Not good enough,” he whispered.
    “Because I can feel how much it would hurt Nathaniel to see you leave tonight, and know that you didn’t have anyone to hold you while you slept.”
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    “It’s not sleep I want, Anita. I’m afraid to sleep. I’m afraid I’ll dream. Last night