Anastasia and Her Sisters Read Free Page A

love with him!
    I knew I should not read the diary. The contents were private. I worried that I would be caught and she would be very angry. It was wrong to read it!
    I closed the book and returned it carefully to its place among the prayer books, promising myself that I would not look at it again.
    Within days I had broken my vow. I found Olga’s secret notebook, and from then on I could not stay away.
Livadia, 10 November
We will be here for another month, and it is pure bliss! I see Pavel nearly every day, and we have even had a few moments alone to talk when everyone was busy at the bazaar. P. gave me a lovely lace handkerchief as a gift—of course I know that he bought it from that girl everyone was making such a fuss over.
Livadia, 12 November
Tanya has noticed. We were in our bedroom dressing for dinner, when she asked suddenly, “Do you think I don’t see how you look at him?” I pretended not to know whom she was talking about.
She calls him “your lieutenant” and says I gaze at him like a sick puppy! She also reminded me that there’s no future for me with him. “You won’t ever marry Pavel Alexeyevich or anyone else of his class.” Her words exactly.
I asked who had said anything about marrying him, and assured her I am not contemplating marriage at the age of sixteen, any more than she is at fourteen.
She said that if my crush on Pavel is obvious to her —she insists on calling it a “crush”—then it is surely obvious to Mother as well.
I asked if Mother had said anything. Tanya said no, but then she said, “I’m warning you—if she does take notice, you can be sure it’s the last you’ll see of him. Lieutenant Voronov will be transferred to Vladivostok before you can snap your fingers.”
I know that Tanya is right, and I have resolved to be more careful.
Livadia, 14 November
The afternoon tennis matches continue, and I follow darling P. with my eyes and ache for a few minutes alone with him. But that does not happen. I hate the thought of leaving here, for it will be spring until I see him again.
    I put the notebook back where I had found it. I could hear Olga practicing on the piano, but there was a chance thatTatiana might come in and find me. I wondered if she knew about the notebook-disguised-as-prayer-book. When did Olga even have time to write in it?
    A little further investigation revealed that she slept with the lace-trimmed handkerchief under her pillow. Poor Olga! I worried about her and how her heart might be broken.

CHAPTER 2
    Family Secret
    TSARSKOE SELO, 1912
    T he snow lay deep at Alexander Palace, and the Neva River, winding toward the Baltic, was thick with ice. Days in Tsarskoe Selo were short and bitterly cold. We settled in for the long winter, dreaming of spring, of returning to Livadia and cruising again on the Standart .
    In the meantime we looked forward to Christmas. My sisters and I knitted scarves and embroidered handkerchiefs to give as gifts to servants and friends. The palace was decorated with huge fir trees trimmed with ornaments and lit with tiny candles, a German tradition. There was one tree in our playroom, another in Mama’s sitting room, a third in the dining room.
    Everyone else might be having a cozy Christmas at home, but not the Tsar of All the Russias, whose obligations neverend. Papa had to attend several Christmas celebrations—at the military hospital, the nursing school, the home for disabled soldiers. The biggest celebration was for the men of our family’s personal guard—those Cossacks who were always following us around! Mama wasn’t feeling well, but Papa’s younger sister, Olga Alexandrovna, came from St. Petersburg and took her place. Aunt Olga, who was cheerful and fun-loving, never seemed to mind filling in for Mama when she was feeling out of sorts. Alexei looked adorable in his white uniform and white fur hat. A gigantic tree had been set up in the horse ring and decorated with hundreds of little electric lights.
    Next to the