Amanda in the Summer Read Free Page B

with Kevin is huge, you know? Or maybe it’s just Mom’s erratic behavior lately.
    I can always count on you for the blunt truth. Like when you told me that what I wanted with Kevin was admirable. And regardless of how groovy I think the way you lead your life is, I need to lead my own life. Of course, I had no idea you’ve had a love relationship, of sorts, all of your life. The thing is, because I had trouble grasping your type of love or relationship or whatever you choose to label it, then I must not want what you have or I’d understand your happiness. That’s rather convoluted, but you know what I mean. Then you offered up to me the example of Mom and Daddy. I get that. You told me to think about our talk. I have. I love and admire you, Auntie Tilly, but I don’t want what you have or rather don’t have. You are perfectly happy, on your own, friendships and relationships coming and going or lingering but no commitment. Kevin is all I want or ever will want. What a revelation! I’d always thought I was more like you than Mom.
    I’m heading back to the city tomorrow. I’ll be staying with a friend until our (meaning Kevin and me!) apartment is ready in August. I’m looking forward to school starting again. I must absorb all the knowledge I can to fight the establishment in academia. Students and minorities must have a voice.
    I hope we can get together for lunch and a good rap session before school starts. Kevin and I want to go to the Democratic National Convention for the marches there. I want to tell you all about it. I think I’ll need you to run interference with Mom. Or not. Maybe she’ll still be too consumed with my living arrangements to worry about my political activities.
    Peace and love,
    Amanda

August 24, 1968
    Dear Tilly,
    A few days of bliss with no one to talk to but the seagulls. I have you to thank for this. I’m so glad you popped back after Amanda, Robert and Mother left. The strain I put on all of us while you were here would’ve dragged on for who knows how long if you hadn’t returned. Once again, Tilly, you read the tea leaves and righted things.
    My moods have been so ragged of late. Jealousy of all things. Jealous that you could talk to my daughter, get along so lovely with her, which I’ve had difficulty doing these last few months. Jealous of your longer running friendship with Robert than with me. I’m not sure if I was jealous of him or you. You’re both mine. And angry that the two of you are uncomfortable around each other after so many years and not making sense of that. When Robert left, I tried to give him the blue swimsuit you had left behind and asked him to drop in on you to return it. He said no, I could do it when I got back. This was so unlike him and did more to unsettle me.
    Yes, silly thoughts.
    So you came back. Lying on the beach, just you and me like old times, really gave me some perspective. Insisting I should stay on when the others left, having some time alone with you and now some time alone with myself is exactly what I needed.
    Amanda leaves for Chicago tomorrow, and I am headed home to be by the phone in case she and Kevin should need anything. The thought of them marching still does not make me happy, but I will be quiet and let her live her life. What you told me about your talk with her regarding Kevin eases my mind on that issue. Somewhat. You still didn’t promote the marriage issue, but you might have planted the seed. Thank you, Tilly.
    See you in the city.
    Love,
    Amanda

July 3, 1969
    Dear Tilly,
    A good time to get a letter off to you before Amanda, Kevin and Mother arrive. Robert and I came up early to open the house and stock the fridge.
    We’ve seen so little of you over this past year. I had hoped you’d tear yourself away from your usual group to spend the fourth with us here. You do realize besides a couple of lunches with me at Gino’s, a day shopping at Bloomies and the two dinners at your house (with a house full of people) we