ALoveSoDeep Read Free Page A

cream. Emmie discovered a passion for raspberry sorbet a few months ago. Since then, she has been willing to eat any number of previously reviled vegetables in order to earn her scoop of dessert after I’m finished cleaning up dinner.
    She, of course, has no idea that the woman offering to buy her a treat is the mother who abandoned her. The mother who never called, sent a single email, or offered so much as a dime to help cover the costs of raising a child. The mother who has no idea that her daughter has struggled to meet so many developmental milestones because she was using drugs and drinking for four months before she realized she was pregnant. For years, I’ve wanted to tell my sister all of it, to tell her how deeply she fucked up, and watch her face crumple as she realizes what a waste she is.
    Now, I just want her to disappear. I don’t have time for Aoife, or anger, or anything else, but Gabe.
    “I’ll go with them,” Sherry says, obviously sensing that I don’t want Aoife left alone with the kids. “You two take all the time you need.”
    I nod, silently thanking her, my heart flipping in my chest when she smiles and tears rush down her cheeks. She knows how monumental this is, and I know she’s as happy for me as if it were the love of her life who had just been resurrected.
    “Okay, guys. Let’s get buckled up.” Sherry herds the kids toward the van before turning back to Aoife with raised eyebrows. “You want to meet us at Two Scoops?”
    “Sounds perfect. Meet you there,” Aoife says, starting toward a silver car parked at the curb. It’s only when she turns that I notice the telltale roundness beneath her dress.
    I realize she’s pregnant, and my breath rushes out like I’ve been punched. The pain of losing Gabe’s and my baby hits all over again, made fresh by the realization that I’ll have to tell him what happened. I’ll have to tell Gabe that I lost our child, that he was a boy, and that I loved him so much it hurt, even though he was dead before he left my body. I have so many things to tell the man I love, so many awful things, but the awful things are now suddenly bearable because he is alive.
    Alive .
    The word keeps exploding in my brain, destroying everything I thought I knew was true. But it is the best kind of devastation. It’s a flood wiping the earth clean, giving me a chance at the life I was so certain I’d lost.
    I turn back to Gabe as Sherry pulls the van out of the driveway, staring up into his face, memorizing the slope of his cheekbones and the way his dark lashes flare around his eyes and his hair falls over his forehead. I don’t ever want to look away. I want to stand here staring until this feels real, until I know he isn’t going to disappear the moment I turn my back.
    “I don’t know where to start,” I say, breath rushing out.
    “It’s all right.” He brushes my tangled hair behind my ear, reminding me I must look a mess after the long flight and my nap in the van. But it doesn’t matter. The way Gabe’s looking at me leaves no doubt I’m the most beautiful thing he’s seen in ages.
    “We’ll figure everything out,” he continues. “I’m just so glad you’re okay. I recovered a memory of you a couple of weeks ago that…scared me.”
    My forehead wrinkles. “Recovered?”
    “I had the surgery.” Gabe turns his head, lifting his thick, nearly black, hair with one hand, revealing a long, pink scar. “Since then my memories have been patchy.”
    “Oh my God,” I say softly, letting my fingers brush across the puckered skin. “But you’re okay? You’re better?”
    “I’m tumor free.” He drops his hand, letting his hair fall into place as he turns back to me. “But I lost most of last summer. The memories have been coming back, but it’s slow. I didn’t remember your name until January, and it’s only been in the past few months that I’ve remembered…other things.”
    “Other things,” I repeat numbly, my pulse thudding