All That Is Red Read Free Page A

elaborate. I silently wondered who ‘they’ were.
    “You are the one,” she stated, as the corners of her mouth quirked upwards. “A small one needs your assistance. We all do.” The little girl looked up at the boy and he
gazed back with understanding eyes, clearly comprehending something that I did not. They seemed to communicate with that one gaze and, eventually, the boy simply nodded, as if an agreement had been
reached.
    “Are you sure?” The boy asked her.
    “Yes.”
    Relieved at the escape, my eyes darted from the blade. I knew the girl was right. The choice to cut or not to cut was mine and always had been; but that did not mean that I knew which choice to
make or even what her final words meant.
    The choice to harm myself was mine, but it was the only way I knew how to feel, and I had to feel whatever the cost to me.
    “You must do whatever you can-” the girl said, breaking me from my thoughts, but the boy interrupted her.
    “I understand.”
    “Even if that means-”
    “I do understand.” The boy reaffirmed.
    “Then you know where you must immediately take her.”
    “Yes.”
    “Where?” I asked, but my voice sounded on deaf ears. Both the boy and the little girl refused to answer.
    As the boy and I bid her farewell, the girl helped me fasten the sheath, so that it fell against my side. With every step, I was reminded of my decisions; the decisions in the past and my future
decisions, of which I had yet to imagine.
    “Remember to lead with your heart. All the best decisions come from there.” Those were the last words the little girl said to me.
    With the Red river on one side of me and the boy on the other, my legs carried me on forever. He and I seldom talked, but the silence seemed meaningful. It didn’t stifle us; but rather, it
was a voiceless conversation between him and me. Nonetheless, when we did talk, it was more substantial than those empty dialogues that usually pass for conversations. Our conversation was
weightless and flowed from our mouths into the air between us.
    “What are you trying to find here?” I asked the boy.
    “What do you mean?” he replied, though he knew well enough what I meant.
    “You know what I mean.” When I voiced this, he just stared at me blankly. I met his gaze as evenly as I could and refused to let it go.
    “You asked me what I wanted and I answered you in all honesty, but you didn’t answer my question.”
    “I don’t need anything,” he answered steadily.
    “I didn’t ask you what you need. I asked you what you want.”
    He shook his head with a small boyish grin. “I have no need; therefore, I have no want.”
    “You may say that to everyone else, but I don’t believe it.”
    “Maybe you should.” The boy’s wry grin grew into a brilliant smile that brought light to his sober expression and smoothed the harsh lines on his face.
    I exhaled at the sight of his unexpected smile. To say he was beautiful was an understatement. His form was flawless. Every angle of his anatomy seemed to be measured out in perfect proportion
and every shadow of his body seemed precisely calculated.
    “And if I can’t?”
    I saw another side to the boy, one that was more child than it was adult. He loved to banter back and forth and took evident pleasure in it. And just when I thought the smile on his face
couldn’t get any wider, it did.
    “Then maybe you know me a bit better.”
    He didn’t say anything after that, but I couldn’t leave the subject. I knew there was something that he wanted more than anything else, something he wanted as much as I wanted to
feel.
    “I know you well enough that I can tell you want something desperately. You want it so much you actually feel like you need it.”
    The boy went mute and refused to look at me. I knew I had hit on something.
    “You’re searching for it, but you don’t quite know what it looks like.” Surprised, the boy looked up. His boyish smile was gone and he had Red tears welling in his