All I Want For Christmas Is You Read Free Page B

was her fault. He was a good man. He didn’t deserve this.
    And yet she couldn’t find any feelings in her heart for him. There was simply nothing there. She hadn’t wanted to hurt him. She hadn’t meant to. She’d only wanted to stop hurting him, to stop feeling like nothing mattered. To stop feeling afraid that if she said those three little words, he would turn away from her in disgust at her weakness that she hadn’t been able to go to war after all. That she would lose her lover because she’d lost her ability to feel and she was ashamed to admit it.
    She’d thought she’d been hiding what was wrong with her. One look at Patrick told her otherwise.
    And she’d lost him anyway because she could no longer remember what loving him felt like.
    But she couldn’t be around him and remember that once upon a time, she’d felt something for him. Standing there now, facing him, was just a reminder of something else she’d lost along the way home from war.
    And she hated it. Hated the war. Hated the pointlessness of it.
    So why did she stay in the Army? Wasn’t that the hundred–thousand-dollar question?
    “I don’t want to do this right now, Patrick.” Words filled with sadness and regret. “We can talk about how to split things up after Christmas.”
    The patient, steadfast Patrick she’d fallen in love with all those years ago was there but he was angry now. And hurt. He stepped into her space.
    His hands were rough where they slid over her cheeks. He didn’t stop his advance until she was pressed between the cold glass behind her and the raw heat of the man in front of her.
    “You act like things are already over,” he said fiercely. “They’re not.”
    And then he kissed her.
     
    ***
     
    He didn’t know what pushed him to invade her space. He couldn’t say what happened between the moment the idea formed in his head and moving. But part of him needed to feel, to touch her and remind himself that she was real, not simply a shadow of the woman who had left him.
    He had to know.
    But then her skin was cool and soft beneath his palms. Her body was hard and warm against his, her lips soft and warm and Sam .
    They parted with a gasp. It was a shock to them both as he took, demanding access to her secrets and her pain and everything she was holding back from him.
    From them.
    Because this distance—this wasn’t just about physical distance.
    She was his best friend.
    And he kissed her like he was dying without her.
    Because he was.
    He wanted his Samantha back. The warrior goddess who’d laughed when they’d been at the range and she’d outshot him. The fierce lover who took her own pleasure while driving him wild.
    The woman who didn’t take shit from anyone.
    He kissed her like it was his first taste of pleasure in months.
    Because it was.
    Her response was a deep, shuddering thing between them. One hand curled around his forearm as he claimed them both, held nothing back. Poured everything he was into that kiss and told her without words that he wasn’t giving up on her without a fight.
    The briefest flare of passion and then it was over.
    But it wasn’t. She was still in there. His Sam was there. Damaged and afraid, but there. He’d felt her in that kiss, the echo of the love they’d felt for each other.
    He stepped back, knowing he was leaving her off-kilter and unbalanced and knowing there was nothing else he could do.
    “I’ll meet you here in an hour.”
    And he was gone before she could protest.
    Because in that kiss, Patrick had made a decision.
    That kiss wasn’t a kiss that said they were over. She’d responded to his touch, she’d swayed against him. He knew in his bones that had they been alone, he might have been able to press his advantage and find a way into the dark where she was trapped.
    If there ever was a time for a Christmas miracle, now would be the time, he thought as he drove out of the snow-packed drive and turned onto Route 16, heading into the tiny little town of