All I Ever Wanted Read Free Page B

random attacks with a pump bottle of No-Frizz, but not much can tame it. As I look at myself over Tahnee’s left shoulder, I see a lanky, brown-skinned wild girl standing in her shadow.
    It hits me that she’s far beyond me now, almost out of reach.
    â€˜Where?’ I stare at her.
    â€˜In Ryan’s car. Out by the wetlands. He’s such a romantic.’
    I imagine it. Sticky fumblings in the back of a Subaru, a haze of vampire mozzies that rise up from the stinking bog, fogged windows, the boom of bass. I wanted something more for her. I wanted her to want something more.
    â€˜I can’t believe you did that,’ I say.
    She lets her jaw hang for a moment, then she moves on to that prissy frown thing she does when she’s really pissed off. She twists the ends of her hair extensions.
    â€˜It was no big deal, Mim. It’s not like I gave him a kidney.’
    â€˜You promised. We promised each other we would be different .’
    She bites her lower lip and pulls at a clump of mascara sticking to her lashes. Tahnee can look herself in the eye when she’s in front of a mirror, something I can’t do. I squint, or try to catch a glimpse as I’m passing, but I can’t just stand there and look at myself the way she does.
    â€˜I tried, I really did. Maybe it isn’t as important to me as it is to you. Can’t you just be happy for me? It’s over, it’s done. I’m still me.’
    â€˜That’s the start of it then,’ I say, shaking my head. There’s a lump in my throat that feels like a piece of dry bread, stuck there.
    â€˜The start of what?’
    â€˜Well, the end, really.’
    â€˜Oh my God, I’m sixteen, not eleven,’ she huffs. ‘The only reason I haven’t done it before is you never want to go anywhere or do anything. It’s all about you and your stupid rules. You’re so worried that you might turn into your mother, you’re scared to do anything. Your rules are about all the things you can’t do, not about the things you should be doing. Like having fun and experiencing life.’
    â€˜They’re not stupid. How else am I going to get out of here?’ I keep my voice low so Mum can’t hear. ‘You’ll be experiencing life via an umbilical cord if you keep shagging Ryan. Then you can tell me all about it, firsthand.’
    â€˜You’re no fun any more. We used to have fun,’ she sulks.
    â€˜You’re the one who changed, not me,’ I hiss. ‘Your definition of fun is puking in a bush, and trying to get your feet on both side mirrors of Ryan’s car.’
    Tahnee smirks. ‘That was kind of fun.’ She stabs her chest with her finger. ‘And I can, for your information.’
    â€˜Can what?’
    â€˜Get my feet on both side mirrors.’ She drops down into a perfect split, wiggles her toes and puts her hands above her head like a gymnast. ‘See? Nothing forgettable about my debut, honey. He’s hooked. Guys love that shit.’
    â€˜Ah, you are wise as well as bendy,’ I say in my best Confucious voice, trying not to smile. I can’t stay mad at her for long.
    â€˜So, you forgive me?’ she pouts.
    For leaving me behind? ‘Not really,’ I say.
    â€˜What have you been up to?’ she asks, grabbing a tube of my lip gloss, which is crusty from heat and under-use. She dabs it on, picks bits from her lips and throws it down in disgust.
    â€˜Nothing,’ I lie.
    â€˜Hey, have you seen Jordan? I heard he’s not going to uni. He’s taking a gap year.’
    â€˜I saw him today.’
    â€˜Really. Where?’ Her gaze is distant to match her tone. She fidgets with some jewellery, a bottle of perfume, a CD. But there’s somewhere else she wants to be.
    â€˜Never mind.’ If I tell her what happened I think I’ll probably cry and I’ll lose my edge. That and the fact that her dream’s come