All Families Are Psychotic Read Free Page B

through a telescope. The fron t door had a windo w shaped like a crescent moon. Behind the door stood Alanna Brunswick, wife of Mission
    Commander Gordon Brunswick, in a Star Trek T-shir t and holding a platter of Tollhou se cookies, smiling like a perfume coun ter saleswoman.
    The doorb ell was still playing the Close Encounters theme song as she spoke, with a trace of tigh tly concealed surpri se in her voice: 'Howie, this must be your . . . bro ther-in-law, Wade.'
    'In the flesh.'
    Wade sensed he'd been much discussed. 'Hi. I'm just going to wash up before I head to the Peabody. Upstairs?'
    Alanna's face betrayed deep misgivings, but Wade knew he had a fifteen-second windo w during which she would be immobili zed by his looks, sligh tly enhanced by rakish nigh t-in-jail stubble. He turned on the smile (add another five seconds), then bound ed up the stairs.
    'Uh — you just make yourself at home,' she shou ted after him. 'Yeah, thanks. Howie, find me some duds, okay?'
    'Okey dokey.'
    Wade saw pho tos of planes and jets. Training certificates. Black and white 1960s celebri ty pilo t pho tos. Saturn 5 rocket models — even the ceiling was peppered with glo w-in-the-dark stars, a yello w margarine color in the dayligh t. Wade could understand why Howie would want to stay here instead of a hotel.
    These people lived for the progr am; the Drummond family, comparatively, treated Sarah's immin ent fligh t like a display at a local science fair.
    He located the bathroom and stripped. His clothing was a write-off; even his shoes were leathery with blood . He wrapped up the garments as best he could and squished them into the trashcan. Once in the shower, yesterday's crud rinsed off and he began to feel new again. Howie stuck his arm through the door and placed some clothes on the coun ter, and through the water and steam, Wade heard him say, 'Try these on. Take your time.'
    Wade toweled dry and inspected the clothing, clownishly small. Only the socks fit. What the — ? Then Wade remembered Sarah explaining that astronauts are always tiny, chosen for their lack of body mass; there's no such thing as a beefy astronaut. Trust Howie not to loan me some of his own clothes. Weasel With the towel wrapped around his waist, he stepped into the hallway, the carpet thick and bouncy. He tried various doors. Gotta find some better adult clothing. What's that — kids' room? No. Over there?
    Den. Wait — over there — an indisputably adult bedroom. He walked into the room, brigh t with fluttery morning sun passing through the surrounding oaks. He turned a corner to where he supposed the
    cupboard migh t be, to find Howie and Alanna barnacled together in an embrace. They didn ' t see him at first. 'Shit. Sorry.' Wade retreated to the bathroom .
    'Wade—'
    'The clothes are too small, Howie. I need stretchy stuff -sweats maybe. And a big T-shir t. And flip-flops for my feet.'
    'I can explain.'
    'Just find me clothes, Howie.' Wade slammed the bathroom door. Outside there was a freigh ted silence, follo wed by the sound of shuff ling feet. Wade wasn' t qui te sure what to think. His breathing was
    underwater-like, his thinking fogged.
    There was a rap on the door: 'Clothes for you, pardner.' Wade grabbed them and slammed the door.
    'We can talk on the way to pick up your car,' said Howie through the door.
    Wade got dressed. He looked like a gym teacher on his day off. He opened the door and barreled down to the car. He had no interest in seeing Alanna. Howie trailed behind him.
    'Wade—'
    Wade looked out the windo w.
    'If you'd just let me explain, Wade. Alanna and I understand each other — the pressure of being married to—'
    Wade turned to look at him: 'There's always an explanation, Howie, and I wrote most of them — which in turn makes me understand all too well that there's never an explanation. So shut the fuck up and drive.' Surpri singly soon they were at the bar.
    'That's my car over there.' 'Nice car.'
    'Shut the fuck up, Howie.'