After Forever Read Free Page A

struggle to contain his guilt, his tears.
    I closed the door behind me. He blamed himself. I couldn’t listen to his grief.  
    Not without giving in to my own.
    I fled to my car, sat in the frigid darkness and shook, felt tears trickle down, unable to stop them. I drove home in silence, through the thickly falling snow, with tears freezing on my cheeks, tears stuck in my chest, grief shut down and compressed and denied.

    ~ ~ ~ ~

    Caden

    I heard Eden close the door. I was thankful she’d left, relieved. I couldn’t stop myself from crying as I stared at Ever’s broken body. My Ever. Barely breathing, so still. I willed her to move, to wake up. She had to wake up. She had to. She would wake up. Right? Tears slid down my face and I didn’t care, didn’t wipe them away, just watched her, willing her to wake up.  
    “Baby. Please.” I heard my voice. “Wake up. Please. Wake up. I need you. Please.”  
    She didn’t move, didn’t stir, didn’t wake.  
    I sat there, wishing I knew what to say, until the nurse returned and wheeled me back to my room, pretending not to see the tears. I didn’t know her name, but I was grateful for her silence.  
    Alone in my room once more, I sat with my eyes shut, the TV off, and tried to move my fingers, my right hand. Tried to ignore the way it hurt, the way my whole body hurt. My head throbbed. My leg ached. My arm was on fire.
    My heart was shattered.
    I fell asleep, and when I woke up, Gramps was in the visitor’s chair, Grams beside him.  
    “Hey there, kiddo.” His voice was deep and gruff. “How are you?” He stood up, moved to stand by my bed. He was the same as ever: tall, commanding, whip-cord lean, silver hair and weather-lined face.  
    I pushed the button to raise the upper part of the bed so I was sitting. I was so weak, I couldn’t even sit up on my own. “Fine,” I said.  
    “Bullshit,” Gramps said.
    “Connor!” Grams chided. Grams was much like Gramps, with silver hair and a slim, straight body, dark eyes.  
    “I’m your family, boy. Don’t lie to me.” His eyes reflected his love, even if his way of showing it was very much his own unique brand.
    I sighed. “It hurts, Gramps.” I looked away, out the window, where all I could see was snow and more windows. “So bad.”
    “You’ll heal.”
    “Not what I meant.”
    “I know. Still the truth.”  
    I met his eyes. “No, I won’t. Not without her.”
    “You really love her, huh?”  
    I nodded. “More than I can say. God…I feel like I can’t breathe. She’s in that room, and she’s not gonna wake up. But she has to. She—she has to. She can’t leave me. She promised me.”
    Gramps could hear what I wasn’t saying. He didn’t speak, just stood at my side and nodded.  
    Grams came to stand next him. “Talk to her, Cade. Be there with her. That’s the best thing you can do.”
    “It’s not enough. And…it hurts. To see her. To talk to her and not hear her voice.”
    “I know,” Grams said. “But you’ll be there for her. And you’ll be there when she wakes up.” She seemed to be struggling, fighting some emotion I didn’t understand. She’d always been just like Gramps, steady and solid. Now it seemed like she was near tears herself. “Excuse me.” She turned abruptly and left the room.
    I looked up at Gramps in confusion.  
    “She spent nearly every day for two years in a hospital room,” Gramps said, his voice low. “Her ma. Got sick, real sick. Went into a coma, just like your Ever. Grams was real close with her ma, so it was…the hardest thing for your Grams.”
    “Did she get better? Great-grandma, I mean?”
    Gramps wobbled his head to one side and the other. “For a while. Point is, bein’ in a hospital is hard for her.”
    “Yeah,” I said. “I know how that feels.”
    I’d spent hours, days, weeks in the hospital when Mom got sick. I hated hospitals. I hated being in one, and I knew each and every day, every moment would be torture. But