Across the Ocean Read Free Page A

three of them were considering moving to live with me in Indiana.
    I had gone through a huge effort of trying to help by looking for a new place to rent that would house all of us and include my current best pal, Josh, who I had been living with since I arrived in Indiana. It had been a daunting task that eventually fell through anyway. We were young and didn’t really know what we were doing or what we wanted. I think it was for the best. Who wants to leave Iceland for Indiana anyways? As you can see, these three girls and I have been through some stuff together; just all of it is through the Internet. Technology these days is so fucking amazing.
    Then, there ’s this whole thing with Ari.
    We have a pretty special connection, having been close for going on four years now. He would stay up super late to talk with me. Iceland is always many hours ahead of California (up to 8!) and he would wait for me, regardless of the hour.
    He would always say sweet things to me. He’d tell me I was beautiful, talk to me with respect, and dedicate sweet songs to me. We would talk of how we would be together if we ever were to see each other in person. I’ve seen him during very intimate moments. Just thinking about the things I’ve seen him do to himself just for me sends a chill down my spine and makes my clit start to throb.
    It ’s so easy to feel like I know him. His presence in my life has been something I’ve grown accustomed to, and is something I always try not to take for granted. He and I have both had other relationships during these years, but that has never slowed us down. We were comfortable flirting and talking about what could possibly come of us in the future, all the while knowing that the chances of those things becoming a reality were slim.
    During times that one of us was in a relationship, we would back off a bit from the flirting. Not completely , though. I don’t think we could help ourselves. While I was dating my ex, Tommy, I would confide in Ari the difficulties I was having and he would give me great advice. He’s one of my best friends and would-be lovers. The fact that I am here right now is a big deal for us.
    There is really only one problem here, although it ’s a deal breaker. Ari is in a relationship. Not with just any dumb broad—he’s with Lára, one of Emilia’s best friends. I mean, I couldn’t expect him to wait for me forever, and who knew if I was ever going to actually come here. People say things like that all the time, “I’m so going to come for a visit,” but never follow through. She seems like a nice enough girl, and he’s only human.
    How was he to know that our situation would ever be any different? It ’s not like I waited for him. I had just come out of a strange as hell relationship, and Ari had been a rock for me during some of the tougher times.
    I can ’t and don’t blame him. I have to admit, though, that wondering what it will feel like to finally make real eye contact with him is driving me crazy. What if he doesn’t think I’m beautiful in person? It’s not like it matters anyways, what with the whole dating someone, and the fact that I have absolutely no intention of being the tornado that rips through these people and leaves nothing except destruction and drama. I’ll just have to suck it up and move on.
     
    ******
     
    Mid 2003
    MSN chat
    Brooke is in California.
     
    marxist: All the guys know about you.
    salemsme: And why is that?
    marxist: They saw me chatting with you that one time and they’ve asked me all about you. They think you’re really hot, just like I do. A lot of them are pretty jealous that I, some guy who lives in this tiny town in Iceland, have a girl all the way in California who spends so much time talking to me.
    salemsme: You’re making me blush :)
    marxist: You’re beautiful when you do. Can we video chat? I want to see you right now….
    salemsme: Sure, I’d love to. Give me a second to connect my headphones….
     
    The