Aces Read Free Page A

I inquired.
    “No,” she said, smiling brightly. “I already found one.”
    “Oh?”
    “He’s been living with us for the last week, as if you didn’t notice.”
    “I’m afraid I didn’t.”
    Soelle turned her head to the side, as if hearing something I could not. “Oh,” she said. “You can’t see him. Only I can.”
    “What happened to the leash?”
    “He doesn’t like wearing the leash. He said it was degrading to his person.”
    “He actually said that? Degrading to his person?”
    “Yes. The Haxanpaxan is quite sophisticated. He’s going to help me find the rest of my aces.”
    “The Haxanpaxan?” I said. “What’s that, a zebra or something?”
    “It’s a name.” Soelle rolled her eyes at me. “And I wouldn’t make jokes about it. The Haxanpaxan doesn’t have a sense of humour.”
    “Sounds like he’s a lot of fun at a party.”
    Soelle glared at me. “I’d watch that.”
    * * *
    Ahh, the Haxanpaxan. How he made our lives so very interesting.
    * * *
    “Soelle, I told you to turn off the TV if you’re not watching it.”
    “The Haxanpaxan’s watching it.”
    “The Haxanpaxan is watching
Canada’s Next Top Model
?”
    “He likes it. He says the models remind him of himself.”
    * * *
    “Soelle, did you leave the back door open?”
    “The Haxanpaxan did. He went outside to do his business.”
    “Well, can you tell him to close it when he’s done?”
    “You don’t
tell
the Haxanpaxan to do anything.”
    “Can you ask him, then? Pretty please, with sugar on top?”
    “Toby, do you remember what I said about being funny?”
    * * *
    “Soelle, do you know anything about the Conroys’ minivan getting smashed up last night?”
    “I’m afraid not, Toby. But on a side note: the Haxanpaxan doesn’t like minivans. And he doesn’t like the colour lime green. He finds it offensive to the senses.”
    “Uh-huh. The back door was open again all night.”
    “The Haxanpaxan was out.”
    “Doing his business?”
    “No, silly. He was looking for aces.”
    * * *
    On an unseasonably warm Saturday in March, I was outside on the porch swing reading the paper when Soelle came skipping up the cobblestone path.
    “Hard day at the office?” I asked.
    “Look what we found.”
    She was bouncing around and waving something in her hand. It took me a moment to figure out what it was: a playing card. The ace of clubs.
    “The Haxanpaxan was the one who found it, actually. He’s very smart.”
    “Where did you find it?”
    “Mrs. Ferguson’s birdbath.”
    “Mrs. Ferguson?” I pictured an old woman who lived alone with her pet Rottweiler. An animal she could’ve thrown a saddle on and ridden around town. “You went into her back yard?”
    “Duh. That’s where her birdbath is.”
    “What about Kramer? Wasn’t he outside?”
    Soelle flashed me a wicked grin. “Oh, he was there all right. But one look from the Haxanpaxan and his fur turned completely white.”
    “Uh-huh.”
    “Yep. Then he ran around the side of the house and we went over and got the card.”
    “Aces.”
    “That’s right.” She winked at me and skipped up the porch steps and went inside. I was picking up my paper when I heard the porch steps creak. The front door swung open on its own, then closed again.
    Just the wind, I thought.
    * * *
    Soelle called me from a payphone and told me I had to come over to Mrs. O’Reilly’s house.
    “Who?” I asked, groggily. I had been asleep. I looked over at the clock radio and saw it was half past two in the morning. “Do you know what time it is?”
    “It’s not important. You need to get over here now.”
    “Who’s Mrs. O’Reilly?”
    “My Algebra teacher. Duh!”
    Soelle gave me the address, but the house turned out to be easy to find. It was the one on fire.
    A pair of fire engines were parked out front, blocking off the street. Firefighters ran hither and yon, dragging heavy canvas hoses. A group of rubberneckers stood off to one side. Soelle was among