A Witch In Time: Magic and Mayhem Book Three Read Free Page B

other.
     
    “Why don’t we pretend this is our first session and you get me up to speed on the last few months,” he suggested.
     
    “I thought I wasn’t supposed to pretend in here,” I said, trying to figure out how to get out of what I’d just committed myself to.
     
    “It’s a game,” he replied evenly. “Just go with it.”
     
    “Whatever.” I uncrossed my legs and grabbed a pillow from the couch. I squeezed it tight to my chest and took a deep breath. I knew I needed to try here. Roger might be a perv, but everyone I trusted in town swore he was a great therapist.
     
    “My name is Zelda and um… I’m a witch with a few minor-ish problems. I really don’t want to be here, but since I have outstanding blackmail information on you, I feel fairly confident that what’s said in the office, stays in the office.”
     
    He nodded and smiled. It was a real smile and I felt a tiny bit bad for giving him so much shit, but this was difficult for me. However, I wasn’t a weenie or a quitter. I was a semi-out-of-control witch with issues who needed to deal with said issues. I could do this. Maybe.
     
    “Soooooo, Roger, the last year has been a doozy. I spent nine months in the stanky magic pokey for killing my cat who miraculously rose from the dead and turned out to be my dad. Interesting coincidence. To be fair to me, it was a total accident,” I said as my eyes narrowed at Roger while I waited for his reaction.
     
    “Accident, you say?” he questioned with a partially raised left brow.
     
    “I know it looks bad since I didn’t like the mangy little son of a bitch, but I’m a healer not a killer,” I insisted. “When I heard the first crunch I'd freaked out so much that I hit reverse and drive simultaneously a few times before I got out of my car and screamed bloody murder. So as you can see it was an accident. However, to make things right, I buried Fabio in a new Prada shoebox and left the super soft shoe bags inside as a blanket and a pillow. After Naked Dude's—or Dad as I now call him—resurrection, he complimented me on his cozy coffin.”
     
    “That was a lovely touch,” Roger agreed making me like him a little more.
     
    “Thank you, I thought so.”
     
    “Welcome,” he replied warmly. “Let’s continue.”
     
    I ran my hands through my wild red hair and groaned. This was ridiculous and I was losing it, but I wasn’t a quitter—twenty-two minutes to go.
     
    “Of course, it didn't matter to Baba Yaga, the most powerful and horrendously dressed witch in existence, that it had been an accident or that my cat slash dad had actually lived. I had to serve time in the pokey with a heinous cellmate, Sassy the Violent Witch from Hell who now, much to my horror, is my neighbor in Assjacket. And on top of that shit show, Baba Yonutbag is apparently dating my dad,” I told my head shrinker.
     
    “Do you have a problem with your dad dating?” he queried, supplying the normal therapist response to a child mentioning a parent was seeing someone.
     
    “Nope. He’s a big boy and can make his own mistakes.”
     
    The rabbit said nothing—just smiled and made some more notes.
     
    I groaned and wondered if there was a straight jacket somewhere in the office that I could put on. Nope, no straight jacket… I let several minutes tick by feigning deep thought. When it reached really awkward silence I started talking again.
     
    “After my release, I found out about Aunt Hildy who left me her house—a dead aunt I never knew. My task ended up being avenging her, taking over her job as the Shifter Whisper and maintaining the magical balance in Assjacket, West Virginia—far easier said than done. You idiots are violent.”
     
    Roger bobbed his head politely in agreement.
     
    Pacing would help me blow through the rest of my recent history faster. Sitting was making me itchy or maybe it was that I was getting to the parts I didn’t like. Standing up and tossing the pillow on the couch,