want?”
“A family.”
Beaston shook his head for a long time. He swallowed audibly before he whispered, “Anything but that.”
Aviana dropped the bags of gifts and covered her mouth as her face crumpled. Leaning her back against the door, she blinked hard to clear the tears from her vision. “I know you’re scared—”
“I’m not scared! It’s just not something I’m willing to put you at risk for.”
“But I’ll be fine. Gia had her baby just fine, and Clara will, too.”
“No!” Easton growled out, lifting his furious gaze to hers and holding it. “If Gia died, that would be on Creed, and I was pissed when I found out he’d got her with a baby. Clara’s safety is on Damon. Your safety is on me.”
“But it’s not like with your mother—”
“How do you know?” Power cracked along his words, and the hairs rose on the back of Aviana’s neck. “I watched her, Ana. You weren’t there in that room. I won’t put a baby in you. I won’t hurt you like that.”
“You already did.” Her words came out as wisps from her tightening throat.
“What?”
“The distance between us was never your fault. It was mine.” Warm tears streaking down her cheeks, she shrugged her jacket to the floor and lifted the hem of her shirt over her head. Clad in her bra and jeans, she turned to the side, cradling her slightly rounded stomach.
“No.” Easton eased away until his back was against the wall. “You’re on medicine so I don’t hurt you.”
“I stopped taking it, and you aren’t hurting me.”
“Why, Ana?”
“Because I want a baby with you! I have since we were kids, Beaston. I want what Creed and Gia have. What Damon and Clara are going to have. I want a baby who looks like you. I watch you care for little Rowan, and I know how amazing you will be as a daddy, but you won’t even have a conversation about it with me.”
“Because I want you to live, Ana!”
“I want to be a mother.”
“Chhh,” Beaston said, hooking his hands on his hips and giving her his back. “You did this. I can’t…I’m going to…no words…” He inhaled a shaky breath. “Fuck.”
She could see it in his tear-rimmed eyes when he dragged his gaze over his shoulder to her. It was the same look of betrayal he’d given her when she’d admitted he was his raven all those months ago. That look stole her breath from her lungs.
It was plain as the pain on his face he was going to run now. He never risked a Change too close to her, and right now, even with her dull raven senses, Beaston smelled like fur.
“I love you,” she rushed out, because he should know that before he left.
“You loved me too much,” he murmured. “I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t.”
He made a single, disbelieving clicking sound behind his teeth and strode out the back door and into the night.
The slamming door rattled the trailer, and the pieces of Aviana that had been holding together by a thread broke apart. With a sob, she slid her back down the door and cradled her stomach. He’d decorated their den because he’d thought his lack of interest in the holiday was to blame, but it wasn’t.
The disappointment in his eyes was all on her.
Chapter Four
Beaston hit the gas on another straightaway and gripped the steering wheel of his old Chevy tighter at the image of his mate cradling the tiny swell of her belly. She’d looked so fucking beautiful, bared for him in her bra and jeans. She’d been hiding her body lately, and now it made sense. It all made sense. She wasn’t avoiding the Change into her raven because she was unhappy. She couldn’t Change because of the pregnancy. And she hadn’t been angry with him or unhappy with their pairing. She’d been afraid to tell him he’d put a baby inside her.
Feeling caged, Beaston rolled down his window and let the cold winter air in.
She’d looked so hurt by his reaction. So hurt. Tears from his beautiful Ana, and those were his fault, too.
His headlights
“A family.”
Beaston shook his head for a long time. He swallowed audibly before he whispered, “Anything but that.”
Aviana dropped the bags of gifts and covered her mouth as her face crumpled. Leaning her back against the door, she blinked hard to clear the tears from her vision. “I know you’re scared—”
“I’m not scared! It’s just not something I’m willing to put you at risk for.”
“But I’ll be fine. Gia had her baby just fine, and Clara will, too.”
“No!” Easton growled out, lifting his furious gaze to hers and holding it. “If Gia died, that would be on Creed, and I was pissed when I found out he’d got her with a baby. Clara’s safety is on Damon. Your safety is on me.”
“But it’s not like with your mother—”
“How do you know?” Power cracked along his words, and the hairs rose on the back of Aviana’s neck. “I watched her, Ana. You weren’t there in that room. I won’t put a baby in you. I won’t hurt you like that.”
“You already did.” Her words came out as wisps from her tightening throat.
“What?”
“The distance between us was never your fault. It was mine.” Warm tears streaking down her cheeks, she shrugged her jacket to the floor and lifted the hem of her shirt over her head. Clad in her bra and jeans, she turned to the side, cradling her slightly rounded stomach.
“No.” Easton eased away until his back was against the wall. “You’re on medicine so I don’t hurt you.”
“I stopped taking it, and you aren’t hurting me.”
“Why, Ana?”
“Because I want a baby with you! I have since we were kids, Beaston. I want what Creed and Gia have. What Damon and Clara are going to have. I want a baby who looks like you. I watch you care for little Rowan, and I know how amazing you will be as a daddy, but you won’t even have a conversation about it with me.”
“Because I want you to live, Ana!”
“I want to be a mother.”
“Chhh,” Beaston said, hooking his hands on his hips and giving her his back. “You did this. I can’t…I’m going to…no words…” He inhaled a shaky breath. “Fuck.”
She could see it in his tear-rimmed eyes when he dragged his gaze over his shoulder to her. It was the same look of betrayal he’d given her when she’d admitted he was his raven all those months ago. That look stole her breath from her lungs.
It was plain as the pain on his face he was going to run now. He never risked a Change too close to her, and right now, even with her dull raven senses, Beaston smelled like fur.
“I love you,” she rushed out, because he should know that before he left.
“You loved me too much,” he murmured. “I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t.”
He made a single, disbelieving clicking sound behind his teeth and strode out the back door and into the night.
The slamming door rattled the trailer, and the pieces of Aviana that had been holding together by a thread broke apart. With a sob, she slid her back down the door and cradled her stomach. He’d decorated their den because he’d thought his lack of interest in the holiday was to blame, but it wasn’t.
The disappointment in his eyes was all on her.
Chapter Four
Beaston hit the gas on another straightaway and gripped the steering wheel of his old Chevy tighter at the image of his mate cradling the tiny swell of her belly. She’d looked so fucking beautiful, bared for him in her bra and jeans. She’d been hiding her body lately, and now it made sense. It all made sense. She wasn’t avoiding the Change into her raven because she was unhappy. She couldn’t Change because of the pregnancy. And she hadn’t been angry with him or unhappy with their pairing. She’d been afraid to tell him he’d put a baby inside her.
Feeling caged, Beaston rolled down his window and let the cold winter air in.
She’d looked so hurt by his reaction. So hurt. Tears from his beautiful Ana, and those were his fault, too.
His headlights
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