A Penny's Worth Read Free Page B

“Are you sticking up for me?”
    “I’ve always stuck up for you since the
day you were born.”
    She walked back and sat down opposite
her. “Something weird is happening to me.”
    “Weird can be good, go on.”
    Leaning her elbows on her thighs, Penny
put her chin in her hands. “I don’t want to be on the sidelines watching everyone
else have a life.” Tears formed in her eyes. “I want friends, Aunt Bess. I want
to fall in love, I want a backyard to put mulch in, and I want a job that makes
me feel good about myself.”
    “So, what’s stopping you?” She waved her
hands in the air. “Get up off your ass and do something about it.”
    “It’s not that easy. I even tried to have
a holiday get-together last year. I’m sure my mother filled you in.”
    Penny remembered every detail of that
humiliating event. She had invited three neighbors over for a holiday cocktail
party and they had all turned her down in quick succession.
    “You need to try harder to make friends,”
an exasperated Dolores had told her. “I feel like you’re still four. For God’s
sake, doesn’t anything change? I had to push you toward the kids in the
playground when you were little. Stop being so shy. That’s why people don’t
gravitate to you.”
    As she relayed this exchange to her aunt,
Penny still felt the awful and familiar sting of her mother’s words. They
always felt the same; like a hundred angry bees stinging her all at once.
    At the time, Penny had inwardly winced.
She’d retorted that she did have friends, two to be exact. Dolores had gleefully
pointed out in painstaking detail how friendless she really was.
    “You haven’t seen these girls for years,
Christmas cards don’t count,” Dolores had scoffed. “So scratch them off your
buddy list.” Dolores had looked at Penny with pity in her eyes and announced
that childhood friends move on, and so the hell should you.
    After sharing this last bit of the
exchange with Aunt Bess, Penny heaved a sigh of despair. “You see what I have
to contend with?”
    Sitting back, Aunt Bess folded her hands
in her lap. “When was the last time you had sex?”
    “What?” Penny asked, leaping to her feet.
    “You heard me, when was it?”
    She glared at the floor. “It’s been so
long, I can’t even remember.”
    “Well hell, that’s part of your problem,
get out there and strut your stuff.” She pointed to Penny’s chest. “Show your
boobs for God’s sake. You have nice boobs and you always have them stored away
under those stupid high shirts you wear.”
    “I can’t believe this.” Her eyes were
wide in astonishment.
    “Oh come on Penny, you have to live life
to have a life. Stop whining and move forward. You’re the one who chooses to
deal with your Mother. No-one’s forcing you.”
    She shook her head slowly. “You don’t
understand.” She paused as a shadow crossed her face. “Sometimes I don’t even
know if my Mother loves me.”
    “At this stage of your life who cares? I
don’t even think Dolores knows if she loves herself, but that’s not your
problem, it’s hers.” She jabbed a finger in Penny’s direction. “Don’t give her
any more of your air space. It’s time to move along.”
    As Penny’s brain registered Aunt Bess’
wisdom, all she could do was stand there and blink.
    “So where’s my tea?”

Chapter 5
    She fell asleep early that evening and woke up
depressed. Clambering laboriously out of bed, she hobbled into the bathroom and
turned on the shower. I feel like shit, she thought as she stepped gingerly
into the cold spray of water.
    She tried to shake away the cobwebs still
sticking to her brain. The water splashed off her face as she recounted all the
things her Aunt had said to her the night before. She thought about what it was
she really wanted to do. The answer remained annoyingly elusive.
    After the quick, cold shower, she got
ready for work. With a deep sigh, she pulled her hair back with a barrette and
felt ready to face