A Natural History of Hell: Stories Read Free Page A

spot in the crowd. The reverend ushered Ina to the cot. He leaned over the writhing girl, put his open palms less than an inch from her forehead, and moved them slowly around like he was polishing a car. He continued with this motion down the length of her body, very nearly but not touching her throat, her breasts, her stomach. He spent a long time conjuring above her crotch, and then swept the rest of the way to her feet. Ina stepped over then and removed Grace ’ s right shoe. In the act of pulling it off, she staggered, and the reverend caught her. He motioned to Crory and said, “Please, take care of this.” Crory emerged from the crowd to lead his wife away.
    “That ’ s right, ladies and gentlemen, the big toe,” said the Blameless. “The seat of Moxioton ’ s rule. You can ’ t walk straight without a big toe, and the Almighty wants this young woman to walk straight.” He went quickly to the chair, took up his cigarettes and lit one, keeping it in the corner of his mouth. He threw the pack down and grabbed the gun, holding it at the ready in his right hand. Back at the cot, he blew smoke rings onto Grace ’ s big toe. He wiggled the fingers of his left hand all around Moxioton ’s lair. “Stand back now,” he yelled. The girl was fish flopping on the cot, sweating, groaning, shrieking, letting off snatches of her own gibberish.
    The reverend ’ s pinching fingers shot out and pincered something just beneath the curve of the toe nail. He planted his feet and pulled back, and his pose made it obvious there was a struggle going on. Slowly, he extracted what looked like a khaki-colored blob. He backed up and drew it out a little farther. It was immensely bigger than all the other demons put together, and it kept emerging from her toe. As it grew it took on the features of a face, and it became clear he had it by its pointed nose. Its mouth opened to show sharp teeth, and it growled and barked. One of its big yellow eyes stared hard at the exorcist and the other scanned the crowd. A string of curse words came from Kan, followed by a loud, “Get the fuck out here.” There was a snapping noise, and it retracted back into her toe. A wave of gasps erupted from the crowd.
    “What the F?” said Tom.
    “Satan ’s bubble gum, ” said Helen.
    The reverend wiped his forehead with his sleeve, and then his fingers dove in for a second try. He caught hold of it, pinched hard, and pulled. Moxioton appeared again, growing like an angry tan thought. Kan lifted the gun, stuck it into the side of the demon, and pulled the trigger twice. The crowd ducked at the report of the 9mm. The demon seemed insubstantial enough for the bullets to pass through easily, but they didn ’ t. Gun smoke misted the weird tableau. Grace, the reverend, and Moxioton reached a fever-pitch chorus of agonizing grunts and squeals. “I ’ ve got to pull it free from her to destroy it,” yelled the exorcist. The struggle continued. People fled for the back door. Then that sharp-toothed maw opened wide, and a burst of fire shot out as if it were a flamethrower.
    The reverend ’ s baggy black suit, beard, and eyebrows were instantly aflame. He stumbled backward, firing off shots into the ceiling. His arms waved up and down, but this time he wasn ’ t dancing. He lurched toward what was left of the crowd. Helen grabbed Tom by the arm and pulled him out of the way. Emanuel Kan, all smoldering hair and a stink of singed meat, swept past them into the drapes of the living room ’ s front window. The gun went off and shot out one of the panes as he fell to the floor. Fire swept up the fabric and leaped onto the couch. The place was in an uproar.
    Tom and Helen made for the back door through the smoke and commotion. He looked over his shoulder and saw three things happen almost simultaneously. Somehow Crory had come up with a fire extinguisher and was dousing the Blameless, the drapes and furniture. Ina had made it to the cot and was helping Grace