A Mother's Secret Read Free Page B

a fraa as much as you need a father for Benjamin.” Amos gestured toward Benjamin walking toward the small house he lived in with Carolyn and her parents.
    She took a deep breath to calm her soaring temper. “ Danki , but I don’t need your help. I can handle dating by myself.”
    “No, Carolyn, you can’t.” Amos shook his head. “You’re thirty-one, and you’re not getting any younger. You’ll be blessed to find any man who will accept Benjamin.”
    “Amos,” she began, hoping to steady her voice despite her irritation, “I’m not going to settle for a marriage of convenience. I want to marry for love, Amos, just like Mamm and Dat did.”
    Amos wagged a large finger at her. “You need to realize you can’t live with Mamm and Dat forever. It’s time for you to move on.”
    “Why?” Carolyn glared at him. “I work part-time in the hotel so I can contribute to the family. Benjamin isn’t a burden on anyone. I’ve always cared for him, even though I had him when I was sixteen. I took responsibility for my actions.”
    “But the shame still follows you wherever you and Benjamin go. The sooner you’re married, the sooner that shame is forgotten. Besides, Benjamin needs a full-time dat who can guide him and discipline him the way he needs to be disciplined. Today is a prime example of how Benjamin gets in trouble. If he had a father permanently in his life, he would learn how to behave.”
    “I think Benjamin is doing just fine.” Carolyn gritted her teeth and tried in vain to keep the tears from stinging her eyes. “I’m sorry you think I’m still bringing shame to the family.”
    “Carolyn, just listen to me.” He held up his hands as if to calm her. “I’m only trying to help you and Benjamin. I’m not doing this to hurt you. Saul is a gut Christian man. He is well respected in the district—he might even be a deacon one day. He’ll be a gut father and a gut husband. He makes a decent living and can support you and Benjamin. He’ll also make you and Benjamin respectable in the community.”
    Carolyn reluctantly nodded, knowing she had to accept her brother’s guidance since he owned the land on which she and her son lived and that it was no use to argue with him. “Fine. I’ll consider it. Danki for thinking of me. Gut nacht ,” she mumbled as she went down the porch steps and started across the field.
    As she walked, she glanced up at the glorious sunset, taking in the orange, red, and yellow hues bursting across the sky. She looked toward the three-bedroom house where she lived with her parents and Benjamin. It was the same home where she’d given birth to her son. It was the same home where she had to tell her parents the news that she had given in to her boyfriend’s constant pressure and wound up pregnant at the tender age of sixteen.
    Her shoes crunched the frozen ground as she remembered the warm June day when she brought her baby boy into the world. Her life changed forever when she held that beautiful baby in her arms. She could no longer attend youth group events or enjoy buddy days spending time with her best girlfriends. Her childhood evaporated, and she felt alienated, lost somewhere between true adulthood and young adulthood.
    She was also heartbroken since her boyfriend had disappeared before she had a chance to tell him that he was going to be a father.
    Yet the most painful part of being a teen mother wasn’t the social events she missed or facing motherhood without Ben’s father; it was the way the members of the community regarded her. People began to treat her differently from the moment the news spread of her pregnancy, even before the baby was born. Both male and female members of her church district would shake their heads and frown with sadness in their eyes whenever she walked past them. Women friends and family members would whisper their words of sympathy to Carolyn’s mother well within earshot of Carolyn, causing her eyes to overflow with tears.
    The most