A & L Do Summer Read Free Page B

midnight! Is everything okay?”
    â€œIf you want to be expelled from school, everything’s fabulous.” Laurel’s voice is muffled, as if she’s cupping her hand around the phone. “Otherwise, we’re in deep trouble.”
    Laurel’s hysterics are legendary. Unless weekend toilet scrubbing has become a reason for expulsion, I’ve got nothing to worry about. I stifle a yawn and climb back into bed. “Why are you whispering?”
    â€œBecause I don’t want the neighbors to hear me,” she hisses.
    â€œWhat are you doing, camping out in your backyard?”
    â€œNo. I’m standing in your front yard. Now get your butt down here or our lives will be completely ruined.”
    She hangs up.
    Something tells me that the chances of having my life ruined are a lot smaller if I stay in bed. But Laurel will just keep calling—or throwing rocks at my window—until I go downstairs and hear her out. I put on a pair of shorts and my flip-flops. Then I change my mind and decide to carry the shoes until I get outside.
    I point my index finger at Carmine’s nose and use my sternest voice. “Stay, Carmine.” Which is just as effective as telling pigeons not to poop on statues. He races past me and is waiting at the bottom of the stairs. By blocking him with my foot, I manage to trap him inside the house as I edge out the door.
    Laurel is pacing back and forth on our front walk. As soon as she sees me, she rushes over and clamps onto my arms. “They’re going to do it! I saw them! And we’ll get blamed for the whole mess.”
    Her eyes are spinning like whirligigs. “Okay, Laurel, you need to slow down,” I say in a soothing voice. “Take three deep breaths and tell me what happened, from the beginning.”
    She drops my arms. “Why are you talking like that? You sound like a zombie on downers.”
    So much for my career in psychology. “Forget it. Just tell me what’s so urgent.” It’s damp and chilly, and hungry mosquitoes are circling.
    â€œThat’s what I was trying to do before you went all undead on me,” Laurel says in a huff. “See, I was taking the trash can out to the curb about ten minutes ago. I was supposed to do it after lunch, but I forgot until I was almost asleep. So I thought I’d sneak out and take care of it because I won’t have time in the morning. And Dad’s been hinting that he’s going to buy me a car, so I didn’t want to get on his bad side, you know. That’s when I saw them! Right away I heard the squealing, and I knew they were going to do it.”
    I feel like I’m riding upside down on a roller coaster.
    â€œThem who? What squealing? Going to do what?”
    â€œPut the pigs in Principal Hammond’s office, of course!” Laurel stamps her foot in exasperation. “Buttferk—you know, Buster, Ferret, and Kong—drove by in Buster’s dumpy white pickup truck. I couldn’t actually see the pigs because I guess they’re too short. But I heard that loud squealing, and I know they’re going to do it and we’ll be blamed!”
    That’s it? “Relax, Laurel. So Ferret overheard us talking about a prank involving pigs. It’s not our fault if he decides to act on it. Besides, he’s the only person who knows what we said, so it’s his word against ours. And nobody’s going to …”
    Laurel’s looking everywhere but at me, and her face has gone whiter than the moon.
    A grapefruit-size lump drops into my stomach. “Ferret is the only person who knows, isn’t he?”
    She runs her sweatshirt zipper up and down. “Sure.
    Except for maybe a few people who might have read my post in their news feed.”
    My eyes jump out of their sockets. “You posted your pig idea on Facebook?”
    â€œKind of. But I didn’t get that many comments from the kids around here.”