A Hopeful Heart Read Free Page A

stepped into the kitchen and locked up for the night. While snuffing out the
     lanterns, she thought back to her early years with Gideon. She’d married him when
     she was twenty-one, and the twins came along a year later. After several heartbreaking
     miscarriages, Hannah thought they’d only be blessed with the girls. Yet their family
     was complete when Andrew joined them. Hannah could still remember the joy in Gideon’s
     eyes when they’d welcomed their son. Although he adored his girls, he’d hoped they’d
     someday have a son to helphim run the business along with his brother. But Andrew never had the chance to help
     his father run the business. Gideon died when Andrew was six.
    Hannah crossed the kitchen and family room and stood in the doorway to her bedroom.
     A wave of grief crashed over her as she studied her double bed and frowned.
    “Gideon,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. “I’m so thankful for the
     life we shared and for the brief amount of time God gave you on his earth. And I’m
     thankful for our wonderful
kinner.
But I can’t stop the loneliness that haunts me every day.”
    She crossed the room and touched the pillow on what had been his side of the bed.
     “I’m most lonely at night when I’m trapped in here with my thoughts. You took my heart
     with you when you left. I don’t know how to fill the hole that’s left where my heart
     used to be.” She wiped an errant tear from her cheek. “I’m exhausted. It’s so difficult
     keeping up with my job at the hotel and raising these
kinner
without you. When you were here, we had a balance. I didn’t feel so scattered and
     unsure of myself. There are times when I’m lost, and I wish you were here to help
     me make decisions about the
kinner
and about our life. Sometimes I’m so confused. I’m not the same person I was when
     you were here. I feel as if I lost part of myself when you left. We all miss you,
     and we all need you. I miss you, Gid. And I love you.”
    She then climbed the stairs toward her children’s bedrooms and sent up a prayer to
     God, asking him to guide her and rid her of the sadness in her heart.
    Later that evening, Amanda snuggled under their quilt and looked at her sister beside
     her. “How’s your book?”
    “
Gut.
” Lillian turned the page while reading by the light of a battery-operated lantern.
    Amanda yawned and rolled over to face the wall. It seemed nearly every night she fell
     asleep while her sister was reading a Christian novel. They were technically twins
     born only a few minutes apart, but their similarities ended there. For one thing,
     Lillian was the only one blessed with their mother’s coloring. And for another, while
     Lillian could often be found with her nose in a book, Amanda had other interests—secret
     interests.
    Amanda’s eyes moved to her bureau where her secret book was hidden in the bottom drawer
     under her stockings and underwear. She’d picked up a copy of
The Veterinarian’s Manual
at the bookstore located across from the deli during her lunchtime last week. She
     managed to hide it in the tote bag she carried to work every day and then hide it
     in her bureau. Amanda stole a few private moments perusing the book, but she didn’t
     dare tell her family of her dream of going to college and becoming a veterinarian.
     She hadn’t even shared her secret with the vet across the street because she was afraid
     no one would understand why an Amish girl would want to pursue a career as a veterinarian.
     Yet she yearned to cross to the other side of the room, grab her special book, and
     read alongside her sister.
    Amanda heard her sister’s book close and hit the nightstand. A click told her that
     the lantern had been turned off for the night. The bed shifted as Lillian moved under
     the covers.
    “I wish
Mamm
didn’t have to work.” Lillian broke the silence between them.
    “You know why she took the job.
Onkel
Josh needs help with the horses,