trick is zee sword. It is not part of the sculpture. I commissioned a sword to be forged, as best as I could, to match zee descriptions of zee original Saintskeep. It is embedded in zee marble, but is made of steel, to stand apart.”
“An excellent work!” the Queen said. “Lord von Wrims, you have done us a great honor by bringing these works of art into our home. I look forward to the Peace Festival, when we can share them with the public. I hope, on that day, you will be here to make the presentation yourself.”
“It would be my pleasure,” The Baron said, bowing.
Landos felt the hairs stick up in the back of his neck. Something about the Baron suddenly seemed wrong, but only for a passing moment. Something about his voice, or his accent… Something. He looked at Dubon, who must have been pursing his lips, because his beard was contorted into a strange shape.
“Is something zee matter, Magistrate?” the Baron asked, and Landos almost laughed. Immediately, the ridiculousness of the man alleviated his concerns.
“Nothing,” Landos said. “Everything is fine. Please, have your man Krugg show us the painting.”
“Of course.”
Landos smiled. The Baron was quite a character.
Chapter 2: Things To Talk About When Sparring With The Countess
So the Kingdom of Rone is subdivided into Duchies and Counties. And those Duchies and Counties are further divided into Baronies. With all those territories, and almost six-hundred years of history, there had been countless rulers. Some benevolent , some cruel. Some smart, some idiotic . They were an eclectic bunch. In all that time and in all those places, there was only one uniting feature for all of them: They all had a penis.
Until six years ago.
After the Argosian War, the County of Deliem was a mess. The final battle destroyed Castle Hartstone, the nerve center of the land. Twenty thousand dead, walls crumbled, earth scorched. But one thing seemed clear. Lady Julia Vye had won the war. She showed up on the battlefield with the head of the Turin leader . Nobody could claim to have contributed as much to the effort.
So the County went to her. It just happened. There wasn’t a vote. There wasn’t a discussion. There wasn’t even a formal ceremony. Somebody started calling her, “The Countess,” and it stuck.
A stranger to the Kingdom might find it unusual that nobody objected. Despite never having helped anyone make a good decision about anything, penises were the assumed sine qua non of leadership. But objecting to Countess Vye came with some risks. You see, she had trained with a Sword Master for four years, becoming the most fearsome warrior in the Kingdom. And that was before she also became the only person in Rone who could use magic.
So there was Vye. In charge and unchallenged. But she had a problem. She was the absolute best fighter and wizard in the Kingdom, and she understood war enough to serve as a military advisor. But she really had no idea how to run an entire County. Especially not one in the shape Deliem was in when she inherited it.
The County used to have an awesome staff. Count Michael had the mind of a leader. But he had died in the war. The High Lieutenant of Deliem was Landos, who was now serving as the High Magistrate of the Kingdom. The Castellen was dead. The Field Martial was dead. Even the fanatically loyal jester was missing.
So Vye had to rebuild the castle and the staff from scratch. But she wanted to do it all in one move. She was just going to hire a High Lieutenant and let him take care of everything.
She started with a man named Sir Noble. Excellent fighter, clear-minded, true-hearted. But all of that left him with the same skill set as Vye. He could lead a battle, but he couldn’t corral people to build faster. Eventually, Landos offered him a position as Captain of the Guard in the Capital, so he left.
Her next hire was even worse. She reluctantly brought on a man named Harold Rutherford, who was the cousin of a
“An excellent work!” the Queen said. “Lord von Wrims, you have done us a great honor by bringing these works of art into our home. I look forward to the Peace Festival, when we can share them with the public. I hope, on that day, you will be here to make the presentation yourself.”
“It would be my pleasure,” The Baron said, bowing.
Landos felt the hairs stick up in the back of his neck. Something about the Baron suddenly seemed wrong, but only for a passing moment. Something about his voice, or his accent… Something. He looked at Dubon, who must have been pursing his lips, because his beard was contorted into a strange shape.
“Is something zee matter, Magistrate?” the Baron asked, and Landos almost laughed. Immediately, the ridiculousness of the man alleviated his concerns.
“Nothing,” Landos said. “Everything is fine. Please, have your man Krugg show us the painting.”
“Of course.”
Landos smiled. The Baron was quite a character.
Chapter 2: Things To Talk About When Sparring With The Countess
So the Kingdom of Rone is subdivided into Duchies and Counties. And those Duchies and Counties are further divided into Baronies. With all those territories, and almost six-hundred years of history, there had been countless rulers. Some benevolent , some cruel. Some smart, some idiotic . They were an eclectic bunch. In all that time and in all those places, there was only one uniting feature for all of them: They all had a penis.
Until six years ago.
After the Argosian War, the County of Deliem was a mess. The final battle destroyed Castle Hartstone, the nerve center of the land. Twenty thousand dead, walls crumbled, earth scorched. But one thing seemed clear. Lady Julia Vye had won the war. She showed up on the battlefield with the head of the Turin leader . Nobody could claim to have contributed as much to the effort.
So the County went to her. It just happened. There wasn’t a vote. There wasn’t a discussion. There wasn’t even a formal ceremony. Somebody started calling her, “The Countess,” and it stuck.
A stranger to the Kingdom might find it unusual that nobody objected. Despite never having helped anyone make a good decision about anything, penises were the assumed sine qua non of leadership. But objecting to Countess Vye came with some risks. You see, she had trained with a Sword Master for four years, becoming the most fearsome warrior in the Kingdom. And that was before she also became the only person in Rone who could use magic.
So there was Vye. In charge and unchallenged. But she had a problem. She was the absolute best fighter and wizard in the Kingdom, and she understood war enough to serve as a military advisor. But she really had no idea how to run an entire County. Especially not one in the shape Deliem was in when she inherited it.
The County used to have an awesome staff. Count Michael had the mind of a leader. But he had died in the war. The High Lieutenant of Deliem was Landos, who was now serving as the High Magistrate of the Kingdom. The Castellen was dead. The Field Martial was dead. Even the fanatically loyal jester was missing.
So Vye had to rebuild the castle and the staff from scratch. But she wanted to do it all in one move. She was just going to hire a High Lieutenant and let him take care of everything.
She started with a man named Sir Noble. Excellent fighter, clear-minded, true-hearted. But all of that left him with the same skill set as Vye. He could lead a battle, but he couldn’t corral people to build faster. Eventually, Landos offered him a position as Captain of the Guard in the Capital, so he left.
Her next hire was even worse. She reluctantly brought on a man named Harold Rutherford, who was the cousin of a
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