2000 Deciduous Trees : Memories of a Zine (9781937316051) Read Free Page A

for a personal visit. But
in due time she found a friend who was willing to take care of the
farm for a few weeks in exchange for what seemed to me to be an
excessive demand of mutton and fleece. I was horrified to think of
three baby lambs being slaughtered for my benefit, however
indirect. But Mary seemed happy with the trade and informed me she
would be coming in October.
    I made arrangements for her as best I could.
The carpet cleaners came, and I enlisted the high school boy from
across the hall to fix my shower. I bought a few clothes. At first
I had chosen four new shirts, but realizing that she would
immediately see my efforts to impress her I limited my purchases to
one white shirt with double button sleeves and one without. I spoke
with a sales representative in the necktie department but could not
quite find something I liked, assuming she was opposed to yellow
dots which I expected she was since I was so surprised to find that
I myself had liked them.
    For three weeks before she was to come all I
did was sit very cautiously in my apartment trying very carefully
not to get anything dirty. And I suppose just to shock me with some
superstitious meaning, only days before her arrival the Earth fell
from its silver strand. It landed where the dog could find it and I
heard him from the other room rasping and choking with intermittent
whines. He solicited my pity and I stroked him gently as he coughed
against whatever it was he had found. But when I finally looked
into his mouth I found it was full of wool.
    I ran into the next room and found the Earth
on the floor, wet and drawn. “Shit. And she's coming so soon."
After the thing dried I sat with glue and rearranged a bit of the
South American continent, mimicking its geography to the best of my
recollection. It was certainly not the same, and there was no doubt
in my mind she would notice but I hung the Earth again with several
pieces of fishing line and hurried off to meet her plane.

 
    FOR THE MAN WHO BOUGHT ME COFFEE AND WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD
SOON AFTER
    I have seen your
    smile often tonight
    lying on the freezer floor.
    Did you know it would
    happen when you pulled
    up a chair and called me
    beautiful?
    Did you put a prayer
    in my little white cup?
    Were you talking to strangers
    (funny to think me strange)
    to avoid your thoughts?
    You knew they were
    coming, didn't you?
    But you didn't know when.
    So much like the rest of us
    but sooner.
    Was I safe to you
    or did I look naive and happy?
    Were you just glad someone would
    go on?
    And the thought of you—
    who flattered me with no reserve,
    wanted absolutely nothing,
    and felt so good—
    kneeling down with a couple of
    friends in the freezer
    (one on either side, I'll bet)
    hands tied behind your back
    looking at the door.
    Hoping someone would come for you.
    Wishing they hadn't.
    And why did they come?
    I suppose it's rude to ask.
    Scared. Were you scared?
    How long did you kneel there
    with their words over you?
    I'm glad it was cold.
    I hope you were numb for your
    execution.
    I certainly hope you were.
    I don't know why I didn't hear you
    cry out. Voice submerged
    by always-on-top-flattery,
    beautiful faces, French,
    and laughing cigarettes.
    But I do remember your leaning
    closer than I might have expected.
    and I do remember your looking into
    my eyes, hiding something
    precious in me.
    Anyway,
    Thank you for the coffee
    and for stabbing your smile
    deep enough.

 
    HOLLACE AND SOME
GIRL
    Black shoes need shining at the airport and
grab a newspaper too. Hollace Dupree sat behind his paper not so
much reading it as thanking it for dividing him from the throngs of
travelers and from the shoeshiner. At page fourteen, he thought
slowly whether he should have a glass of orange juice or a nice cup
of coffee before his flight. Both would cost way too much, but he
was above taking a thermos to the airport and actually hadn't
thought of that until just now. He hated flying coach. The
complimentary beverages on the